


Queens: A Story of Love and Power

by babydraco



Category: Kings
Genre: Adultery, Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, Character Death, Cousin Incest, Divorce, F/F, F/M, Femslash, Forced Marriage, Frottage, Genderswap, Group Sex, Light Dom/sub, Non Consensual, Non-Linear Narrative, Post canon, Rape, Rule 63, Suicidal Thoughts, The Prophet Nathan tells everyone where they can stick it, Underage Sex, Violence, creepy uncles, eventual polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-15
Updated: 2013-06-21
Packaged: 2017-12-05 08:54:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 15
Words: 25,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/721215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babydraco/pseuds/babydraco
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A  "Jack's a girl and a lesbian" AU.   It begins with Princess Jaqui and her fiance Luke Wolfson locked in a bedroom as punishment for Jaqui's coup attempt.  Can her friend Dianna Shepherd rescue them, and if so, where do they go from there?    This is her story, told through post canon scenes as well as flashbacks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. hammers fall on all the pieces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's probably easier to follow this story if you've seen the show. I mean, if you know how the show ends, the way this story starts won't come as a huge surprise but if you didn't see the last episode...it's kind of a disturbing way to start a fic. There's stuff that could be triggery in this fic, mainly rape and suicidal thoughts. 
> 
> I should have put this note at the start of the chapter when I first posted, but oh well, it's here now. I originally meant to make this a complete retelling of the plot, episode by episode but it didn't work out that way. Although scenes and episodes I didn't cover in this fic may be given the Jaquiverse treatment separately, later., I do a lot of skipping around and assuming the reader is familiar with what happened on the show and, in some cases, the original Bible source material (like the show, I tried to include a lot of Easter Eggs). I just wasn't able to properly develop all the original subplots and conspiracies and minor character relationships this first time around so it was safer to skim over them.
> 
>  
> 
> [You can read a long essay about my further thoughts on the topic here](http://kingsmeta.tumblr.com/post/57198849365/women-on-kings)

_Men still have trouble recognizing that a woman can be complex, can have ambition, good looks, sexuality, erudition, and common sense. A woman can have all those facets, and yet men, in literature and in drama, seem to need to simplify women, to polarize us as either the whore or the angel._ \- Natalie Dormer.

She woke up with Luke thrusting inside her. He moved so gently, like he though that'd make a difference. She just lay there and let him, after all, what was she supposed to do, scream for help? This was the reason her father had locked her in this room in the first place, to submit to an unwanted pregnancy by an unwanted man. No screaming allowed, because no one was allowed to help her. Her limbs felt heavy, like she was floating underwater, counteracting her soldier's instincts and she remembered dimly that the juice with lunch had tasted funny. In fact, lunch _was_ the last thing she remembered. Luke made a stupid sounding noise and came. He pulled out, crawled off her and disappeared into the bathroom, where she heard the shower running. He was crying in there. Moving quietly, Jaqui searched his things and when she found the box of pills, placed them prominently on the dinner table. Then she pulled on a dark purple silk bathrobe and curled up on the couch and watched _In the Neighborhood_ on tv, feeling sore and sticky and gross. And a lot of other things she didn't like to name. 

Luke emerged, with a towel wrapped around his waist and turned all sorts of interesting colors when he saw the box. She turned her head away to hide the tears threatening to spill. 

“I- I- I asked Thomasina for them," he said. "Honey, we have to get this over with so we can get out of here.” 

“Idiot.” The audience on tv laughed uproariously at a pratfall. 

“I didn't want to hurt you. I just want my life back.”

“A gentleman lets a lady have the first shower after he roofies her, dumbass.”

“I was a gentleman for five months, Jaqui. I had a life of my own, and a family, and a job before you destroyed me. All you've done is treat me like dirt. ”

“So this is what? Revenge?” Jaqui sneered. A life trapped in this suite with her had finally taken its toll on a man who'd always seemed so patient and sweetly dim. "God, you're not even good at raping people."

“No! I really wish...that you could've let me love you. But even more, I don't want to be in your life anymore. Or, maybe it is revenge. Maybe I'm just fed up with being your abused puppy. ” Luke's voice rose angrily. “I'm not weak or stupid, but you led me on!” 

“So you thought what you did was okay...” Jaqui choked out. “You actually think-”

“Well, why not? Is the biggest slut of the Gilboan aristocracy really going to object to spreading for yet another man? “ 

Jaqui rose from the couch. 

“You,” she said, her voice low and deadly dangerous, “do not know what you're fucking talking about.” She pushed past him and locked herself in the bathroom.

"Baby, don't be like that!"

She stayed there for hours,all day really, curled up in the tub until the water was ice cold. _He didn't know anything_. That so much of her reputation had been constructed of lies, or about the two shameful secrets that were so much worse than having too many boyfriends. What Cousin Andrew had done to get banished, and how terrified she'd been when she heard he was back and how she'd thought Dianna Shepherd would be the one to save her from both Crosses, except for the part where she couldn't ask for that kind of help out loud. Because she'd only given in because she wanted to be queen and what kind of person did that make her? Sometimes, when you made your bed, you had to literally lie in it, right? And now, a simple mechanical act, if it was her choice instead of his...

At close to six o'clock, Jaqui came out of the bathroom and got dressed. The guards arrived with their evening meal, grilled chicken, salad and a nice white wine.

“Shall we dine?” Jaqui asked icily, taking her place at the table and laying a white linen napkin in her lap like a proper finishing school graduate. Luke joined her. The guard popped the cork on their wine and then withdrew, locking the door again behind him. Luke poured two glasses and handed one to Jaqui. Jaqui, slowly and deliberately, dropped one of the pills in her wine glass, waited for it to dissolve, and sipped it while staring directly into his guilty eyes. He was going to watch and know and feel _sick_.


	2. The Open Door

A Gathian soldier disguised as a pizza delivery guy drove the car through the gates of Altar Mansion while Dianna hid under blankets in the backseat. While he argued loudly with a staff member about whether or not three pizzas had actually been _ordered_ by someone named Hugh Jass, Dianna slipped out the back and darted through a side door. She had two guns in her bag, and the little side door in the alley had zero security. She wore a wig for this part of the mission, and a Visitor's Pass that Gath's finest government identity forger had copied from one of her own original cards. She kept her head down and walked with purpose, broadcasting an aura of busyness. 

Thanks to a spy within the manor, a friend she'd cultivated two years ago when she herself was still employed by the Crown, Dianna had the elevator pass code that would take her to the floor Jaqui was supposed to be on. More people than Silas and Rose suspected were no longer loyal yet still held affection for the children they'd watched grow up within these walls. Her friend's jail cell was in a nondescript (but subtly luxurious) hallway of unlabeled doors. She kept a watch out for the suite, counting based on where she'd estimated it'd be from the outside of the building. But she didn't need to do that after all. 

A lone uniformed guard sat on a plastic chair outside it. With a pounding heart, Dianna walked toward him casually. He stood up and stepped in front of her. 

“This corridor is off limits to the public, ma'am. How did you get up here?” Dianna smacked his head into the doorpost, and let his unconscious body slump to the floor. She backed up and, using as much muscle and power as she could manage, kicked the door hard in the general area of the lock. It crashed open, revealing a sumptuous bedroom done in red and cream. The furnishings were still more valuable than Dianna's entire apartment in Gath but the windows, she knew, were barred on the outside. Luke Wolfson was curled up on the bed, morosely eating Funyons, while Jaqui occupied the floor, doing situps. They both looked up in shock and confusion. Dianna pulled the wig off and at least Jaqui's eyes showed sudden understanding. 

“I know, I'm totally late,” Dianna said. “But I have a getaway car.” Jaqui flung herself at Dianna, clutching fistfuls of her shirt and breathing hard against her shoulder. 

“Are you real?”

“Yeah, I'm real. I promise.” She pulled the second gun from her bag and pressed it into Jaqui's hand. “It's already loaded in case we have to fight.” 

“I don't understand what's happening,”Luke blurted out. 

“We're breaking out. You can come, if you can keep up,” Jaqui told him, shoving her feet into a pair of tennis shoes and grabbing a light jacket. 

“Okay?” he said, and obediently followed them down the hall. They met with no resistance from the staff, the halls were empty except for the unconscious guard. But Silas was in the living room, reading the Unity Post and drinking Scotch. 

“Ladies. Mr. Wolfson.” 

Jaqui aimed her gun and let out a low, whining growl. 

“If you think this impresses me, Jacqueline, it doesn't. I told you I won't tolerate this sort of behavior from you. Go back to your room before I have to order someone to take you there.” 

“Jaqui, do you want to kill him?” Dianna asked. 

“Figuratively speaking, she doesn't have the stones and we all know it,” Silas mocked. Jaqui's gun hand trembled. 

“I-I-I don't know. He deserves it.”

“It's your choice,” Dianna said softly. “It's always your choice.”

Jaqui kept the gun trained on Silas as she walked backwards to the door, turned and ran. 

“That was your last chance, you bastard,” Dianna informed him before running after Jaqui. While pounding down the stairs, she hit the remote car starter button on her keyring. They made it to the front door as Silas's armed guards came thundering from all directions. They were firing as the girls and Luke hit fresh air and scrambled into the waiting car. 

Her old friends the gate keepers, Klotz and Boyden, were more than happy to let the speeding pizza delivery car through when they saw who was driving. Jaqui sobbed brokenly, pressing her cheek against the window. Dianna gave Jaqui a worried sidelong glance, reached out, took her hand, and kept driving.


	3. Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree

**Three Years Ago**

Jaqui sat on the steps of Unity Hall, swigging from a bottle of vodka to work up the courage. A town car with Gilboan flags on the hood pulled up, her father and his entourage got out. She grabbed his arm as he passed her.

“I should be out there with my company. You benched me.”

“Then why aren't you on the bench?” Silas paused, looking exasperated.

“I don't want to stay on the sidelines. Is it because you believe what they're saying? That ambush wasn't my fault.”

“I know that.” Silas waved his entourage away.

“I'm a good soldier and I don't want a desk job. What are people going to say when my father banishes me to an office? They'll say I couldn't hack it because I'm a girl. I was the first female captain in combat-”

“That's not why I'm doing it. It's not a punishment, Jaqui.” Silas easily detached his arm from her grip.

“Well, it feels like one. You never wanted me in the army in the first place. You don't want me to have a chance for other people to take me seriously. If this is about my reputation as the Party Princess, it doesn't matter...”

“Oh, if only that was the problem,” Silas sneered, invading her personal space, she was suddenly reminded of how much taller he was. Her father was the type to lash out when cornered. “I'd rather have a daughter who can't get enough cock because then there might be hope for you. Instead, I have a daughter who shows no interest in men.”

Jaqui's heart sank. Her whole body seized up in panic. She thought she'd been so careful, hiding this secret so shameful she had never put it into words. How long had he known? Her lips parted but no words came out, just a panicked little gasp. _No, no nonono._

“ Oh, you thought I didn't know? I've been keeping pictures of our family out of the free press for years . I know what you do at night with your...girls after your show of man chasing. A woman doesn't exist for her own pleasure in...that way... her purpose is her family and her _children_. I'm just as angry about the damage that was done to you but you need to grow up and find some way to get over it. You're a vessel for the propagation of our royal bloodline. That's your job, your only job. Figure out how to do it or I will take that decision out of your hands.”

Hot tears welled up and threatened to spill over her cheeks. She blinked them back frantically.

“It's unnatural and a distraction. Wrestle it down. Numb it with ice. After you do your duty, you can have any job you want but you will never get anywhere in my government until you crush that weakness. Remember what you promised your family. ” Silas continued on up the steps, leaving Jaqui uselessly wiping tears away with her palm.

**Present**

“I get it, I think,” Dianna said. “But I still feel a little weird about how we're bringing your...whatever...your rapist...along.” Several feet away, Luke played hacky sack with the Gathian soldier. They'd parked by the side of the road in the Prosperity Valley to stretch their legs and eat lunch (bags of chips, bottles of juice, and sub sandwiches). The girls sat on the hood of the car.

“My father played him, tried to set it up so Luke would end up complicit in my father's crimes or die. Luke made a bad choice because the only choices we had were bad ones. If I'd left him behind, Silas would've killed him or used him to make me come back by threatening to hurt him. And now that we have him, we can't let him go or he might run back and tell them where we are, not because he's evil but because he's stupid and easily manipulated. So he's more like our hostage now,” said Jaqui .

“I'm just wondering what we're going to do with him in Gath.”

“I don't know. But it seemed like something you'd do, so I knew it was the right thing. Anyway, he's not that threatening, he's a harmless puppy compared to -” she broke off and shook her head. “He's a sad, big eyed puppy who follows me around.”

“Who roofies girls,” Dianna pointed out.

“If I think about that,” Jaqui said, “I'll fall apart. I can't afford to do that.”

“I'm here for you, if you need to fall apart,” Dianna said. “I mean, I just want you to know that you're not alone anymore.” It said something about how lonely and touch starved Jaqui had been for the last two years that something so corny could make her want to melt into a puddle at Dianna's feet. She'd lost her family, her home, her reputation, her crown, but here was Dianna Shepherd, shining larger than life with fantastic breasts, big blue eyes and a mass of golden curls, Champion of Her People, promising to _be there for her_. She kind of wanted Dianna to take her right there on the hood of the car in front of her own boyfriend but she settled for planting a kiss on her lips. It was Dianna's genius idea to add tongue. And that's when a couple of Monarch butterflies rested on Jaqui's shoulder for a moment and flitted away. Reverend Samuels would have called it an _epiphany_.

**Three Years Ago**

“Dad, you promised.” Jaqui cornered Silas in his library after that supremely awkward dinner with the Crosses.

“I did,” Silas admitted. “I said you'd never have to see Andrew Cross again.”

“Then why is he sitting in our living room, having after dinner drinks with Mom and Mike and Kurt Ghent and Luke Wolfson?”

“It's out of my hands. It was a condition of your Uncle William not using CrossGen to shut down the entire infrastructure of Shiloh,” Silas explained. “I have to allow that filthy creature to walk around free in my city again.”

“Daddy, you _promised_.” She felt her chest tighten and fought down panic. What did this mean for her plans with Uncle William? How could her uncle do this to her if he was really on her side?

“Just recently, you insisted to me that you could handle yourself like an adult. So handle it. Go in there, smile, make nice. Show poise, and maturity, be the better person.” Silas rose, and guided Jaqui into the living room with a firm hand on the small of her back. Her legs trembled, she nearly stumbled in her dark blue satin pumps. “Good girl,” Silas whispered.

“Hello, Jaqui.”

“Andrew.” She filled a large tumbler with Scotch and drank as much of it as she could in one go. _Bad idea. It burned like fire in her throat and she stifled a cough_. “Awesome to see you again!” Jaqui sank onto a couch, and kicked off her shoes. For the rest of the evening, she made friendly, vivacious yet more than a little vicious conversation while getting increasingly but not entirely obnoxiously, drunk. After everyone left, she ended up crawling around the carpet trying to find her other shoe.

“What are you doing on the floor?” Her mother asked, sounding both concerned and disappointed. "You behaved better than expected tonight, but you could have been more convincing.

“Mom, I can't find my other shoe.”

“Are you sure it's not just under the couch?” Queen Rose asked, sinking down into a genteel crouch to peer under it.

“That's the only place it could be, but it's not,”Jaqui replied.

“Have a maid look for it later, if they don't find it, we'll go shopping tomorrow and replace it.”

**Present**

They pulled into Gath in the middle of the night, making their way down bleak, empty streets. The people of Gath could barely afford to maintain the streetlights. Dianna drove to the outskirts of the capitol city and slowed to a stop outside a large, crumbling mansion.

“Welcome to the headquarters of Gath's military. I know it's not nice like you're used to.”

“It's better than a battlefield tent,” Jaqui said. Jaqui, Luke and the soldier followed Dianna inside. Dianna turned right in a surprisingly not totally awful looking conference area and took a set of stairs. Dianna's soldier friend fished out a set of keys and unlocked a nondescript door, revealing a pleasant, if spare and unimaginatively furnished, apartment. The soldier went in first and looked around.

“We're clear,” he said.

“Thank you, Sergeant Perez, you're dismissed. Get some shut eye.” He saluted and left. “Luke, you can bed down on the couch.” Dianna took a spare set of sheets and pillows out of the closet and tossed them at him. “Jaq, you'll share with me.”

“Umm...” Luke said. “Wow. I can't share a bed with my own girlfriend?”

“You know, I declare us officially broken up,” Jaqui replied. Dianna closed the door in his face. She kicked off her shoes, threw her jacket on a chair and turned down the bed.

“You want some water or anything?”

“Dianna?” Dianna turned around to find Jaqui on her knees on the floor, head bowed, waiting. Oh no...that wasn't what she meant when she'd told Jaqui they were sharing a bed. Her apartment only had two places to sleep, there wasn't time to arrange anything else, and it would've been wrong to ask Jaqui to bed down with a man she clearly didn't want anywhere near her. Better tread carefully here, especially since she was so tempted by the image of Jaqui on her knees. It wouldn't be fair or right.

“I've done bad things.”

“You don't have to-” but at Jaqui's desperate head shake, Dianna realized it'd be wiser to keep quiet and let her finish.

“I hurt my family. I hurt you. Because I didn't know who I was or what I was supposed to be doing, I tried to get power instead. But I lost everything, I've even lost my home. I thought, “what am I even for? Now I know, _you're_ what I'm for. I can right my family's wrongs, and my own, because God has been trying to tell me...that...I'm yours, for whatever you need me for.”

“Oh. You don't have to ever feel like you owe me for anything. I never wanted you to feel unhappy or displaced, I didn't _know_. I appreciate the apology, though, that shows me that you're really trying. ” Dianna got down on her knees too and brushed a curl off Jaqui's cheek. Jaqui kissed her, ( _Oh damn, she just had to look at this girl and she was lost_ ). Dianna returned the kiss , cupping Jaqui's face in her hands. Oh, she'd been waiting for this. Their kisses heated up, they eagerly explored each other's mouths with their tongues. She unzipped Jaqui's GUA hoodie and let it fall on the floor, they broke apart long enough for Jaqui to lift her plum colored tank top over her head. Her bra was the same color and satiny, with a daintily embroidered trim, probably some super expensive brand that catered only to aristocrats, the sort of store where they wouldn't even let you in if you weren't dressed well enough. They rose and stumbled to the bed, Jaqui falling backwards onto the mattress. Dianna was out of her cargo pants and t shirt in moments, grateful that Jaqui did not make fun of her cheap, mismatched underwear. Dianna slid Jaqui's bra straps off her shoulders, released her breasts from the cups and bent down to draw a tongue over her nipples. Her breasts were about a cup size bigger since the last time Dianna had been in the same room with them, which intrigued her. Jaqui had scars on her arms, most were faded and old, Dianna kissed every one of them. Jaqui shivered underneath her and met her eyes fiercely, still a warrior and a queen despite whatever torment had caused her to hurt herself so badly and so often.

“Is that what you need?” Dianna whispered. Jaqui swallowed visibly.

“Maybe,” Jaqui breathed. "I mean, that -that wasn't a sex thing, it was a Way Out that didn't work. But pain helps me, sometimes." _When I can't stand myself and need to hurt, then be forgiven_ , was the unspoken conclusion to that thought. They both knew it. Dianna had suspected it since that night at the club, and her suspicions had been confirmed in the car on the way back from capturing Belial, when she'd originally stumbled on that hidden switch that that brought out a surprising side of her commander.

“I'll take whatever you've got.” Jaqui bit her on the shoulder, as if to provoke something. "Just don't hate me any more, like everyone else does."

Dianna had a lot of ability to forgive stored up, she could certainly spare some for the unloved and unwanted princess, who had nothing else left except the hope that Dianna would. But she kind of did want to see Jaqui earn it, and prove she meant what she promised. And Dianna had to admit, her motives were not one hundred percent noble in that regard, lust was a definite contributing factor.

“You don't want to start slow.” Jaqui shook her head. Dianna gripped a fistful of her hair and pulled. “Tell me what you want.”

“ _Hurt me_ ,” Jaqui said through her teeth.

“Pants. Off.” Dianna moved out of the way so Jaqui could tug her yoga pants down, revealing a pair of black lace boy-cut panties and a lovely flat stomach. Jaqui gracefully kicked the pants aside. “ Up on your knees. Turn around and brace your hands on the headboard.” Jaqui was so hot, back arched, thighs parted, the elegantly sculpted muscles in her back shifting as she adjusted her position, glancing back at her with a desperate look in her eyes. Dianna started to get wet just watching Jaqui gracefully display herself. She slipped fingers under the waistband of Jaqui's shorts and slowly lowered them.

“By the way, my safeword is 'pancakes,'” Jaqui said.

********

Dianna awoke looking into eyes the color of a storm at sea and a halo of soft, angelically tousled mahogany colored curls.

“Mmm. Beautiful girl.”

“Wanna go again?” Jaqui laughed, low and throaty. Dianna absently stroked a hand up and down her spine.

“Ohhh, wish I could but I have meetings starting in about an hour.”

“Do you have a shower?”

“Yeah, it's right through that door. There's clean towels on the rack and some unopened soap.” Dianna yawned. “ Don't take your time.”

“I didn't bring any extra clothes.” Jaqui stood up and stretched, totally comfortable with her own nudity. Her skin bore a few small welts and bruises, but Dianna had never seen a girl come so hard and Jaqui seemed significantly calmer and more secure today.

“If you want something fresh, you can borrow some of my stuff.” Jaqui was two inches shorter, and even though her arms had more muscle than Dianna remembered, her breasts were still a bit smaller than Dianna's, her shoulders a little narrower, and her bottom and hips curvier but they weren't so different that they couldn't share _some_ clothing. “I figured the first thing you'd want to do is buy some new things.”

Jaqui paused in the bathroom doorway.

“But I don't- I don't even know how to say this because I've never had to before, but I don't have any money. Dad took my credit cards when I was arrested. I have a savings account offshore that Dad doesn't know about with my army pay, some bequests from my mother's parents and something from my uncle. But I'll have to wire it to a new account in Gath.”

“We'll worry about that later, it's your first day of freedom, after all.”

“You know,” Jaqui said, flashing Dianna a smirk, “If you join me in the shower, we can save some hot water.”

**Three Years Ago**

_I needed to say goodbye, but you never gave me the chance. I needed you to know that, behind the lie, I see you... for who you really are - and I love you. And I know you love me, and I think everyone should know. No more hiding, Jaq, you're too brave to be such a coward._

“You're too brave to be such a coward”. Jo's final words ran through Jaqui's head over and over. The little blonde law student was the first and only woman she'd ever loved, from her touching naivety to the adorable way she kept her socks on in bed. The last thing she'd said to Jo had been “You're the only real thing I've ever touched” and she'd meant it. She'd been so wrapped up in her own fear and pain that she'd treated Jo abysmally, in the end, and now she could never fix it.

“I'm trying to bury this story with that girl,” Queen Rose said, striding into the living room. “Between this and the naked photos of your brother about to hit the internet-”

“Josephine.” Jaqui looked up from the couch where she sat, hands fidgeting in her lap.

“ What?”

“Her name was Josephine.” Jaqui raised her voice a fraction even though it trembled.

“ What do I care what her name was?” Rose snapped. “ She was trying to ruin you.”

“No, she wasn't; she was trying to save me.”

“Save you - from what?” Rose sat next to her, leaning forward, trying to catch her daughter's eyes.

“From me... and I destroyed her for it; I'm the reason she's dead.”

“ You said she was nothing to you.” Rose's voice went cold and deadly quiet.

“She loved me... and I loved her.” Guilt and shame roiled up inside her. Rose cupped Jaqui's face in her smooth hands and forced her to look her mother in the eyes.

“No. You didn't. You can't have. You will put this out of your mind and heart. You will move on. ”

“I loved her...” Jaqui choked out. “ I *loved* her. I cut her out of my heart, because that's what Dad wanted; that's what you wanted... and now the only person who saw me - who really saw me, and still loved me - she's dead.”  
“Good!” Rose slapped her. Regretting it immediately, she pulled Jaqui into an embrace, kissed the spot she'd just slapped. “You only think you feel this way because you had a bad experience with boys. But they're not all like that. You'll find a nice man, settle down and learn to love him. It won't be so bad.” She hugged Jaqui tighter. “You can move on from this mistake of character.” Jaqui jerked her body away.

“It wasn't a _mistake_ this is who I am,” Jaqui said stiffly and stormed from the room before her mother could respond.


	4. happiness hit her like a bullet

**Present**

In the end, Jaqui decided to wear her own clothes, plus Dianna's extra army jacket. It wasn't the first time she'd done The Walk of Shame in the same clothes from yesterday. 

“Good morning, sir,” a uniformed officer said cheerfully as they entered the conference room. Jaqui blinked. As an officer in Gilboa, she'd always been addressed as 'ma'am'. 

“Gathians aren't fussy about gendered titles,” Dianna explained. “This is Captain Tammuz, my right hand man. He usually does the briefings.” Luke sat at the far end of the conference table, nibbling on donuts and coffee. He glanced at her unhappily, there were dark circles under his eyes. Jaqui approached and poured herself a cup from the machine while Dianna and Tammuz discussed troop movements and supply chains. It was too soon to insert herself into their chain of command or offer unsolicited advice. 

“I hate you,” Luke said bitterly. 

“Ditto.”

She had no illusions as to why he was so unusually cranky.

“Jaq, you might want to hear this part,” Dianna said. “It's more relevant to you.”

“Hmm?'” Jaqui turned around and took a seat at the table. 

“I did the research you asked me about, and, we have two big problems,” Captain Tammuz said. “ The first one is that Princess Jaqui is, according to the laws of your land, legally Mrs. Lucas Wolfson.” 

“What?” Jaqui sputtered. 

“ They were already formally betrothed, and her father, the king, joined them together in front of a witness, with the expectation that the union would be consummated. I understand he did this by...locking them in a bedroom for two years? And consummation did occur, since Mr. Wolfson is listed as the father on the birth certificate for an Adon Elijah Benjamin...” 

“So I DO have rights here?” Luke asked. "I mean, to expect stuff from my wife?" Jaqui gave him a death glare. 

“If the marriage is legal, and Mrs. Wolfson has been with anyone else since, she's committed adultery. Your people seem to take that very seriously. The good news is that Mr. Wolfson can divorce her on these grounds. He can have her quietly put aside- or publicly denounced, either way, she's free to go if he agrees.”

“Wait,” Jaqui exclaimed. “He can divorce me for adultery but I'm otherwise stuck with him because my dad gave him permission to climb on top of me while I was sleeping?” 

“If these laws worked the other way too, your father would be in a lot of trouble himself,” Dianna said. Jaqui glanced at her sharply. “I'll tell you about that later.” 

“She did do it,” Luke said. “Last night. All night. With _her_.” He pointed at Dianna. “Dianna Shepherd stole my wife. Literally right out from under me. And it sounded like she was _torturing her_ in there.”

Jaqui just groaned and buried her face in her hands. Dianna rubbed the back of her shoulders to soothe her. Captain Tammuz could not have looked more uncomfortable with the oversharing. 

“Luke, you knew who I was on our first date. And you've already thrown it back in my face once. Why is what I did to you worse than what you did to me? ”

“In Gath, we don't judge people based on their sexual history,” Captain Tammuz assured her. 

“Fish don't have a word for water, do they?” Luke snapped. “I was the only man left in Shiloh who would take you, Jaqui. I felt bad for you, like maybe you'd be a nicer person if you just had a good man to take care of you.” 

“I don't need a man to fix me! ”

“You owed me _something_ after the way you treated me. ”

“May I remind you, Mr. Wolfson, “Captain Tammuz interjected, “you are a _guest_ in our country and you remain so because of the generosity of the woman _you sinned against_. ” 

“I wouldn't of been stuck in that room with her if she wasn't a traitor to her family and Gilboa because she can't accept her natural place. When I'm with you, I feel like the woman!” 

Jaqui fled the room with a hand pressed over her mouth. 

“Don't walk away from me!” Luke blurted out. He attempted to go after her, but Tammuz easily blocked him. 

“Well, that was a train-wreck,” Dianna said. “Are you guys like this all the time?”

“That isn't the worst of it, sir,” Captain Tammuz said, turning to Dianna. “ King Silas has planted a story in the global media claiming that you kidnapped the Wolfsons. He's pleading for the return of his “precious daughter and her husband.” 

“I might strike a deal with him for the husband. I- I- need a minute,” Dianna said. “Excuse me.” Moments like this were a test of her new...whatever this was...with Jaqui, it was a fragile relationship with a fragile woman. Jaqui would remember it if she didn't go after her. 

Jaqui sat out by the empty pool, hugging her knees. She couldn't think straight with the storm raging in her head. She was now almost _everything_ she'd never wanted to be. Even being with Dianna was soured by the realization that she was yoked to someone she'd hoped she could escape. And it twisted her up inside to hear Adon mentioned so casually. 

They took Luke away while she was pregnant, because his job was done for the time being and because they might've killed each other, otherwise. Jaqui tried hard not to love her baby, tried to think of it as a temporary disease. There was no question of getting rid of it, they made sure she never had the chance and anyway, that would have only prolonged her punishment. She delivered in a comfortable private suite of a private hospital, but with no pain killing drugs, according to Silas's wishes. The hospital staff begged him to allow them to give her something, anything, but he refused. She was young, healthy and strong, she endured, and gave birth to a baby boy. After he was washed, she got to hold him, and name him (a shortened version of an ancient name that meant “my lord is Yahweh”, because she had prayed, desperately, for the first time in years, for the strength to get through it), before armed guards took him away. Against her father's wishes, the nurses slipped her a sedative, fearing that she'd hurt herself otherwise. They were probably right. 

It was easy to get her pre baby body again. After all, there was little else to do except work out and her mother hired a dietician to plan her meals (“there's no reason to let ourselves go, dear”). Getting back to normal became a personal challenge to occupy her time. So, aside from going up a size in shoes and bras, and lactating for a brief period (because her body wanted to feed a baby that she had no access to), it was _almost_ as if she'd never been pregnant. Almost. She couldn't even hear him crying, because he'd been removed to the other house. That was good, right? 

Silas never promised he'd let them go after they produced an heir. They got to move to a bigger suite that still had a guard outside and bars on the windows. He agreed to let Luke go- if the baby lived, but otherwise, they only let her out, under guard, to walk for two hours once a day. 

Every day, on that walk, she thought about jumping into the harbor. She'd had dark, suicidal thoughts for years and in her father's prison, there was no distraction from them or hope for the future. 

“Hey, you okay?” Dianna asked, sitting next to her on the pool's cement steps. Jaqui glared, because that really didn't deserve an answer. “They said in the newspapers that King Silas had a grandson, apparently his bris was tasteful and well attended. You weren't really mentioned, but it's making a lot of people angry that you're never seen in public anymore. Did your dad take the baby away? ” 

“I didn't want him, and I barely got to hold him anyway,” Jaqui said, utterly failing to sound like she totally didn't care. “ What is this place? I mean, what was it before?” It had an eerie quality, like one of those places where the past lingers and echoes of it might just as well be the ghosts of other worlds and other futures. 

“Oh, uh- it was the King of Gath's palace. A long time ago, before the Glorious Revolution. He locked his entire court inside the ballroom when the Gathians finally came for him. Everyone drank poison rather than be taken alive with him. He um- he used to hang the bodies of his enemies by the pool.” 

“I think I'm gonna throw up,” Jaqui said. 

“It's getting cold,” Dianna said. “Come on inside.”


	5. Chapter 5

As she flashed back to Jaqui's confessions,apology and promise of loyalty, she was more than a little angry on Jaqui's behalf. Jaqui's husband was so busy complaining about the role she'd failed at playing, maybe if he'd stepped up and acted like a man instead of whining about how no one would let him- but his wife was a queen, and she didn't owe it to anyone to minimize herself, to pretend to be less in case she came off as emasculating. Dianna had earned (earned, not won) Jaqui's submission because she'd never pursued it. Didn't need it to feel powerful, didn't think she deserved it by default. It would've been worthless if it wasn't genuine. Making it into a man/woman thing was just stupid, Jaqui _had_ chosen a supportive role, she'd also chosen a woman. 

Dianna sank into the cushions of the backseat of their town car, slid the skirt of her suit up over her thighs to keep it safe and pulled Jaqui into her lap. Jaqui had no panties on under her skirt, just bare softness. Jaqui rolled her hips, elegant, well practiced undulations, wet pussy rubbing slowly, then more urgently against Dianna's thigh. 

Dianna's phone rang, and Jaqui's face fell comically.

“Don't answer that,” Jaqui snapped.”Don't you dare answer.”

“Hey, Mom.” 

“Hnnnhh,” Jaqui said. She shifted her hips, trying to get some relief for the overwhelming ache. Dianna stilled her movements with a hand on her waist. 

“No, I'm great.” Pause. “Oh, that's nice, I know they were really trying.” 

“ _Please_ ,” Jaqui mouthed, with dewy pink lips built for pouting...or for going down on you in the shower, the way she had their first morning together. Jaqui gripped fistfuls of Dianna's shirt, and attempted to shift her hips again. Dianna smirked. 

“What noise? Mom, I don't hear a weird noise on my end, it must be your phone. I have news too. I met someone, and I want to bring them for Passover.” Jaqui started trailing little kisses over her neck and shoulders. Dianna relaxed her hold on Jaqui, because she couldn't be that cruel. “See you then, love yah.” She turned her full attention to kissing Jaqui, and cupping her breasts through her shirt, rubbing a thumb over her nipples. Her own body stirred watching Jaqui pleasure herself. Jaqui gripped her shoulder hard, her hip movements slowing to a shaky stop, accompanied by a high pitched moan. 

Jaqui sagged, boneless, against her with a satisfied sigh. Dianna smiled into Jaqui's curls. She'd have to rinse Jaqui's...enthusiasm...out of her nylons before the press conference. But she wanted her own turn first. 

“You want me to meet your family?” Jaqui asked skeptically. 

“You're important to me,” Dianna replied. 

“I thought your mom wouldn't speak to you any more after the Port Prosperity debacle.”

“She forgave me. When I got sent on that mission for Silas, my mom waited in Unity Hall every day for news. It's what a mom does.”

“Not my mom,”Jaqui snorted. “My mom tricks you into thinking everything will be okay, but it's just so she can hurt you more. ” 

"That sounds like a story I'm not sure I want to hear."

Jaqui grinned impishly at Dianna and reached for her crotch. "Need to get off to calm your pre press conference nerves?"

**Several Years Ago**

Jaqui crept down the stairs, hoping to get a late night snack of something fatty and cheesy. She heard voices in the living room and paused. Her mom and...a much deeper voice that she recognized as Reverend Samuels. 

“Most fifteen year olds are difficult,” the Reverend said. 

“Jaqui has always been a handful,” her mother admitted. “Mike's the reliable, well behaved one, Jaqui's our little wild card. But now my daughter is angry and promiscuous. Tantrums, lying, sneaking out,drinking and drugs, Ephraim, she scares me. I can't help her, I'm out of ideas.” 

“And you want me to counsel her.” 

“Maybe she'll talk to you. She won't talk to me.”

Jaqui was sitting in a pew when Reverend Samuels came out of his office. It was cold in the temple, so she had her hands stuffed in the pockets of her princess seamed wool coat. The reverend joined her in the pew, but at a respectful distance. 

“Well, I'm here,” she said. “Let's get spiritual.”

“Your mother tells me you've been struggling. With mood swings, defiance, drinking-”

“I'm very stressed,” Jaqui deadpanned. 

“Sometimes, when we're really sad, it's hard to talk about.” 

“They don't like it when I try to show how I feel,” Jaqui said. “I'm supposed to be a block of ice. Or maybe like, a tree. I'm scared all the time but I'm angry too, because I don't understand and it's not fair.”

“What's not fair?” Samuels asked. 

“That I'm ruined and everyone knows. And don't tell me it's not my fault, I know that.” School was rough, the other kids treated her with a mixture of fear and pity, the boys were intrigued, because no one really knew the details but they knew she was “fast” and that something shameful and sexual had gone down. Or maybe Jaqui Benjamin had a mental breakdown, they'd heard _she'd_ attacked a guy and the cops had been summoned to the Mansion. Incidents like this made the international tabloids, people in other countries could read about her "violent streak". “Everyone wants a piece of me and I'm not a person any more.” 

“But what do _you_ want?”

“I-” Jaqui said. “I want to go somewhere no one knows me.”

Her parents sat her down a few days later and asked her about her plans for the future. They thought she might be happier going away for high school and wanted her to pick one. Jaqui chose Gilboa's military academy, locked away on a secure base in the mountains. Mom wasn't thrilled, but Daddy reminded her that Gilboa was unlikely to ever pass a law permitting women to serve in combat anyway.  
Gilboa's restriction on women in combat was lifted when Jaqui was twenty. Why not? It was peace time anyway. 


	6. after the storm  I ran and ran

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> graphic rape flashback warning

**Present**

Jaqui padded around Dianna's kitchen, pouring cereal and coffee while she read over the paperwork that had been delivered that morning. They were legal forms, applications to sue for divorce in a religious tribunal( since her father controlled the secular courts) . There were new priests in Gilboa, young, modern guys, who might not share her father's medieval views, and probably weren't insane like her dad either. Captain Tammuz was in the process of figuring out how to accomplish this when both parties were located out of jurisdiction. The legalese gave her a headache, so she put the papers aside and turned on the tv. 

Andrew Cross. Andrew fucking Cross, standing next to her father on a podium, with flags behind them. Jaqui muted the tv and just watched. She'd known, of course, it had just never sunk in the way it did now. Just how far off the deep end had Silas gone? He'd promised Andrew would never come back. And yeah, she knew it was a promise that hadn't meant much, but actually giving Andrew a role in government was an abomination and a slap in the face. 

It happened when she was fourteen, the second night of the New Moon festival. Her parents and Michael went to a dinner at the Library Foundation and gave all the servants their traditional night off, only keeping a skeleton crew on at the gatehouse. Her cousin Andrew Cross, who was staying with them for the summer at The Vineyard, stayed behind claiming he had the flu. Jaqui was grounded for sneaking out to a concert. It was a bad omen when the sky burst into torrents of rain and thunder, but Daddy said being able to actually see the new moon wasn't a requirement. 

"Be nice to Andrew," Queen Rose admonished. "Make sure he has everything he needs." She didn't want to do anything of the sort but knew she'd hear about it if she left him up in his room, sick or hungry or in need of Kleenex. 

Jaqui enjoyed making her own dinner and wandering around the house barefoot. She snooped in other people's drawers, looking for blackmail opportunities, while the rain splashed down outside. He asked her to bring him some soup. And ginger ale. And then he wanted the crackers crumbled in the broth, he was too weak to do it himself. So she opened the package for him, and crumbled them, and put the tray on the nightstand so he didn't have to get up. His hand closed around her wrist. 

“Don't go. We haven't talked in so long.” 

“Because you tried to watch me change my clothes,” Jaqui replied. “When I went swimming.”

“I was just curious. Because you're so pretty.” His grip on her wrist was like iron. Had he even really had the flu at all? 

“That's not the way you show it. ” He'd been bothering her for two years, ever since her body started noticeably changing. She was sure he stole articles of her clothing, and sometimes, when she took showers, she heard someone jiggling the locked doorknob. He watched her eat. He always noticed when her school uniform skirt was too short. Once, he'd tried to kiss her in the garden. When she tried to tell other people, they lectured her on the importance of being kind and polite. But he'd never done anything violent, although Mike claimed he'd seen Andrew torturing a cat once. 

He stuck his hand up her white sundress and pulled her underwear down. Jaqui tried to pull away. People called her a troublemaker but she wasn't, not in that way, she was a _good girl_ and he was her cousin and creepy and _eww_. He clumsily shoved his fingers inside her. 

“ _No_ ,” she said clearly and loudly, trying to push his hand away. “I don't want to do that with you.” 

“Those short skirts, and tight tops....” He moaned a little. “ I thought you didn't even like boys , I saw you holding hands with that girl. You practiced kissing with her and you let her put her hand up your blouse. I was so jealous and angry, you shouldn't waste your beautiful body on someone who can't even give you what you need. I thought how great I could be at showing you what you've been missing. You'll like it, I promise.” 

“ _No_.” 

He yanked her onto the bed, during their flailing and struggling, her underwear landed on the floor, freeing her legs. Andrew's mouth descended on hers, clumsy and sloppy. Jaqui scratched his cheek with her fingernails and kicked him hard in the shins. She played on a coed soccer team, her kicks were strong. 

“That.wasn't.very _nice_ ,” he said, voice surprisingly mild. Jaqui ran for the door. She stumbled barefoot through the dimly lit mansion, crashing into the mahogany bookshelves and priceless paintings. She heard Andrew calling for her in a sweet, chuckling voice. “Jaqui, come back. I was only playing.” Jaqui burst into the solarium, her heart pounding wildly. “Jaqui, I'm going to find you and you'll be sorry you ran away from me.” 

There was a panic button somewhere in there, if she could just remember where. The huge windows that looked out on the ocean let in more light, she saw waves cresting and trees outside tossing violently back and forth. She ran to the china cabinet and wrenched open a drawer, looking for something, anything, sharp. Jaqui grabbed a mother of pearl handled steak knife that was part of a set gifted to them by the young King Aedmund of Albion. She spun around and found herself face to face with Andrew. Lightening flashed outside and briefly illuminated the whole room...and Andrew's insane smile. Jaqui screamed. 

“Be nice to me,” Andrew said pleasantly, clapping a hand over her mouth. He pulled her down on the carpet, ripping her dress in the process. Her knife clattered away under the coffee table. And then he was on top of her and inside her, moving. It hurt _so much_ and she was so frightened that she began to cry in earnest. Thunder boomed, wind and rain lashed the windows. When she tried to scratch him again, he rolled her onto her stomach and thrust back inside her mercilessly. It went on for an agonizingly long time, as she wept and silently prayed for help and then Andrew jerked on top of her and groaned. Breathing hard, he pulled out, relaxed and distracted for a moment. In the split second she needed it, lighting lit the room again and she saw the knife within reach. Jaqui grabbed it, and stabbed him in the thigh. Andrew howled. He howled again when she pulled the knife out. Jaqui struggled to her feet and ran for the front door, leaving her cousin flailing on the carpet. She fled, bruised and bloody, sobbing, barefoot and now soaking wet, down the driveway toward the gatehouse. 

She ran smack into Thomasina, who'd come home early to check on them. Calm, capable, ruthless Thomasina ordered a guard from the gatehouse to stand watch over Andrew, called her parents, an ambulance, and the police, immediately and in that order. Daddy rode with her in the ambulance, gripping her blood smeared hand. She remembered the doors closing on an image of the cops leading Andrew away in handcuffs. He smiled when he saw her. 

“Jaqui, will you wait for me?” He called out.

At the hospital, Thomasina, and a female police officer stood by while a nurse did the rape kit, and Doctor Whalen asked a few basic questions and gave her a pill to swallow (that would make her vomit later). Then the policewoman took her statement. They took her dress away for evidence, but some royal staffer showed up with a new outfit, that she changed into after they finally let her shower. Paparazzi cameras flashed as they left the building, she didn't look, just huddled inside the cheap black hoodie. Her mom tried to be comforting on the drive home but she wasn't exactly prepared for this scenario. At home, she sat on the edge of Jaqui's bed and asked if she had any questions. Since the only question she had was “Why?”, Jaqui didn't speak. She just curled away and stared at the wall, still in her replacement hospital clothes. She was still bleeding, still in pain, still terrified, and dutifully took the sleeping pill her mother had procured. 

“The day you learn what men are capable of,” Queen Rose said, “is the day you know what it means to be a woman.” 

They never needed the rape kit. Andrew never got a fair trial in a public court. Silas was judge and jury, exiling Andrew from Gilboa for life, most people knew he'd gotten off easy. Andrew's father, her Uncle William, put four million dollars in a trust for her, paying her family damages as the law recommended. 

“Is that how much I'm worth, Daddy?” she asked after they finished signing the papers in the presence of their various family attorneys. The idea troubled her. She'd spent most of the meeting staring down at her penny loafers and nervously adjusting her silk headband, while they spoke about her and the value of her virginity- but without coming out and saying it- as if she wasn't sitting right there. 

“No, Puppy, you're priceless. This is just a ritual, a formality to show that they acknowledge our pain.” He moved to kiss her forehead and frowned when she flinched away. A formality, like celebrating the new moon in a thunderstorm. Of course Daddy was upset, she understood that, no one wanted to watch their child go through something like this but no one else had the right to claim they hurt as much as she did. 

She knew it wasn't her fault, and everyone kept saying it wasn't, yet nobody looked at her the same way after that. Even though she was only fourteen, she'd already begun to figure out her body was Gilboa's body. If too many people found out their family shame, she wouldn't make a good marriage and let down the entire kingdom. Andrew had been charged with rape, but the main charge, the official reason for exile, was treason, for endangering the future of the kingdom. 

Years later, that protective father would turn on her, and be complicit in her second rape, for exactly the same reason. Her body was Gilboa's, and Gilboa needed its royal bloodline. 

Jaqui wasn't even sure how it happened, but Dianna found her standing over the sink,dazed, holding a knife to her wrist. 

“Baby,” Dianna said gently and took it away from her. “You don't have to tell me why, but I can't lose you that way. Not now. _Please_.” Dianna guided her to the couch, Jaqui curled up, squeezed her eyes shut because she couldn't stand the pity in Dianna's eyes. “Hey...hey...don't hide.” Dianna retrieved her guitar from where it rested on an armchair and began to strum a gentle tune. 

_When you're weary_  
Feeling small  
When tears are in your eyes  
I will dry them all 

Jaqui's smile was a little shaky, but the soothing tune and Dianna's rich alto began to work a sort of magic on her. She felt warm, and cherished and beautiful _inside_ , like maybe she could be okay after all. 

_I'll take your part_  
When darkness comes  
And pain is all around  
Like a bridge over troubled water  
I will lay me down  
Like a bridge over troubled water  
I will lay me down 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A couple of weeks later, Rose is inspecting the guest rooms and discovers Jaqui's white cotton panties under the bed in the room Andrew stayed in. Her ice queen facade cracks, she finds herself crying. Then she takes Jaqui shopping for a more grownup wardrobe, because, like it or not, she's not a baby any more.
> 
> song is "Bridge Over Troubled Water" by Simon and Garfunkel.


	7. by the dashboard light

**Three Years Ago**

This mission to capture Belial was supposed to be her chance. Her first time back on active duty in months, her chance to show that she could still do her job. A chance to be in charge of something again. But Dianna Shepherd, as usual, kept ruining it. She seemed to think orders only applied to other people, even questioning her commander in front of the squad. She had to admit, Dianna was right a lot of the time, but it was hard enough being a female officer on active duty without being constantly undermined by a woman she outranked. 

A knockout punch and a heart to heart later, and they were driving a stolen vehicle toward the Gilboan border. Jaqui pulled the car over by the side of the road to check their coordinates. The rest of their squad were on the way, and their prisoner was unconscious in the back, so for the moment, they had peace and quiet. It had been a rough couple of days and stress relief was in short supply lately. 

Adrenaline always made her kind of horny. She wanted to get off, preferably with the blonde Amazon sitting next to her- sex, and maybe a little pain to relieve the guilt of having punched her lights out. But on her own terms, unlike every single other thing that had happened on the mission so far. 

“Why are you looking at me like that, ma'am?” Dianna asked. 

“Danger gives me a girl-boner,” she admitted with a sly little smirk. Dianna guffawed. 

“Yeah, me too.” 

“Then let's do something about it,” Jaqui said, shifting towards her and licking her lips slowly. Warmth pooled in her lower body, and she heard Dianna's breath catch. 

“Aren't we breaking at least two serious rules?” Dianna asked. 

“This,” Jaqui said, trailing kisses over her neck,” is a secret mission. No one will ask, so we don't have to tell. Up for it?”

“I told you I'm not a saint,” Dianna replied, fumbling for the zipper on her pants. Jaqui pushed her hands away and did it for her. She stroked between Dianna's legs, gratified when the other girl began rocking against her hand. With the other hand, Jaqui started undoing her own fatigues, she intended to make Dianna get her off eventually but first, she would make Dianna come to show that she was the one in control here. 

Dianna had never imagined Jaqui's fingers were so talented. She was almost embarrassed by the filthy moans that escaped her mouth. Almost. Swollen, and wet, she shifted her thighs apart further. Jaqui balanced herself by holding onto Dianna's shoulder, bringing her warm body too close for Dianna to handle. Dianna cupped her perky ass, feeling the muscles shift, and gave it a sharp tap. She had no idea why she did that and she was afraid Jaqui would punch her or something like she had earlier. Jaqui bit her full lower lip,hesitated, and then kissed her roughly. _Want_ took over. Dianna pushed Jaqui up against the seat, Jaqui let out a surprised little grunt, her eyes lit up with need. It sent another flush of arousal through her entire body like an electric current. It was a powerful thing, being able to make her superior officer make those noises. She fingered Jaqui, opening her like a flower, searching out all those little pleasure spots. She understood now, all those comparisons of sex to conquering. Jaqui was responding, with pleased, desperate cries, melting into her, her own fingers faltering and her hands falling away as she seemed to forget everything else. Dianna grabbed Jaqui's hand and pressed it back in place, too far gone to care that she was a little rough about it. From the change in Jaqui's breathing and the way she only got wetter when Dianna's nail accidentally scratched her wrist, she guessed it was the right move.  


Jaqui felt herself falling apart, her mind and body warring between the fog of aching pleasure and the realization that she had lost control of the situation. Again. Wasn't there _anything_ Dianna didn't try to take over? And she stupidly _loved it_ , the terrifying knowledge that Dianna was taking over her orgasms in addition to the mission, her family, and her entire life. Because she could be _the slave_ of anyone who made her feel this good, spread out, exposed, displayed half naked. Self preservation kicked in through the haze of ohmygodthatsgood. No! It wasn't fair, Dianna didn't get to have this too. 

“Stop!” Jaqui shoved her away violently. Dianna fell backwards, blinking, hurt and confused. 

“Sorry, Major,” Dianna spat out bitterly. “It was a mistake.” Jaqui got her breathing under control as she rearranged her clothing. Dianna kept her face angrily turned away, a perfect stony faced soldier again. Jaqui would've found the fact that Dianna had tears in her eyes, funny, if she wasn't just as disappointed and angry. 

“Let's get moving before the prisoner wakes up.”


	8. I learned the truth at seventeen

**Several Years Ago**

Queen Rose insisted on putting Jaqui through all the standard protocol training and classes on the social graces even while Jaqui fought to achieve top marks at the military academy. She simply had tutors come in, or had Jaqui driven to lessons with other girls of suitable social rank. The Queen was determined to build a debutante tradition in Gilboa, she would control the social strata of the country's noble ladies and they would all bow to _her_ if they wanted to be a part of society. Jaqui was good at everything she was asked to learn, both at school and in her mother's supplemental classes, but being good at those things left her little time to explore much else. She sometimes thought she'd crack into pieces from the stress, toward the end of her school career, free time was often spent in an alcoholic haze, experimenting with sex and interesting substances. She had a monster hangover the day her parents called with the bad news, she stood in her dorm room chugging water and painkillers as they told her that her brother had been admitted to the hospital. 

Her brother Michael nearly died of testicular cancer in their seventeenth year. Jaqui was forced to continue her schooling while her twin lay hooked up to beeping machines in a hospital. They sent each other goofy cards and talked online but he was often too tired to talk for long. The night he nearly did die, Jaqui got so drunk she received several demerits for unbecoming conduct. But Michael lived, her father claimed it was a miracle, and Jaqui graduated with honors from the military academy, along with thirty other young men and women, in an elaborately choreographed ceremony covered in the international press. King Silas was there to hand out special awards, and Reverend Samuels to give the benediction. 

“You've surprised me, I'm quite proud of you,” Silas told her as they crossed the tarmac to a helicopter that would take them back to Shiloh and civilian life. The royal presentations at court were scheduled for the next evening. Jaqui, a newly minted Army officer, was supposed to put on a ballgown and pretend she was exactly the same as all the other girls. 

Jaqui's ballgown was bolstered by layers and layers of petticoats and tulle, with a full organza skirt, tight bodice and an off the shoulder yet modest neckline. She wore matching little silk slippers embroidered with a subtle flower design. Her dark curls were upswept and her makeup professionally applied to make her look both demure and eye catching. Her entire look was the result of a whole day's work, with months of dieting and fittings before that. She had been washed, rubbed, plucked, shaved, powdered, and exfoliated until she was buffed, shiny and perfect, designed to come off as pure and virginal, a far cry from reality (but we didn't speak about the Incident any more). Jaqui lifted a dainty necklace featuring diamonds and sapphires (to bring out her eyes)from its dove gray velvet box.

“Let me do that,” Mike offered, strolling into her dressing room. He efficiently fastened it around her pale throat, and sat next to her on the tufted bench. Mike was pale, and thin, drawn about the eyes but slowly recovering, although when he thought no one was looking, his limbs trembled. He wouldn't do any dancing tonight. 

“Thanks.”

“You look so pretty,” Mike said. “I can' t even...wow.” He stared down at his hands, as if he had something important he needed to tell her. “I gotta talk to you.”

“Okay,” Jaqui said. Like good news ever started that way.

“Jaqui,” Mike said. “I can't give the kingdom an heir. I-I- the cancer treatments-I'm sterile.” He took her hands in his, they were big now and would be strong again soon, while hers remained smaller and deceptively delicate with nails painted pearl gray. “Any children of yours will be the kingdom's only heirs. It means for-for all our sakes...Oh, I hate that I have to ask you to do this. I told Mom and Dad that it was probably better if I told you myself...” 

“Fuck your cancer,” Jaqui snapped. Then she pressed a hand to her mouth. “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.” 

“No,” Mike said, pulling her in for a hug even though she was the one who should've hugged him first. “I feel that way about it all the time. You can swear at my cancer, I'm not friends with it. It's ruining everything. It's ruining your chance at happiness too.”

“ What other choice to do we have?” Jaqui said. She could hardly refuse this request or ignore the reality of their situation but she could feel her whole imagined future crumbling. Babies some day were one thing, babies as soon as possible were entirely different. She kept stubbornly trying boys but most encounters left her at best, unsatisfied. She didn't understand what other girls were talking about when they said it felt good and the boys never noticed she wasn't enjoying herself. She dreaded attempting to make a baby with one even if it would put her own child on the throne eventually. “It's time to grow up, right?”

“I find it all kind of silly,”Mike said. “The puffy dresses, the waltzing, what does any of that have to do with anything like being an adult? Girls are _weird_.”

“Oh, this is hardly more embarrassing than your Bar Mitzvah.” 

“Really?” Mike laughed. 

“Today I am a man.” She mimicked his squeaking thirteen year old voice. 

“That's enough, children,” Queen Rose said. She carried an ornate wooden box. “Mike, why don't you go wait with your father?” Mike knew an order couched as a suggestion when he heard one. The queen stood next to her, and opened the box. A delicate silver and diamond tiara rested on a pillow inside. The crowns were rarely taken out of the government's vault. They had not been designed or made by anyone working for the current dynasty, they'd been in Shiloh much longer, some said it was bad luck to wear them at all, but Silas wanted to make a point about how thoroughly he'd conquered Vesper Abbadon. Jaqui had never before wondered just exactly who used to wear the crown in which she was about to debut. 

“This is a privilege, remember,” her mother said. “Be worthy of it.” She carefully placed the tiara on Jaqui's head and secured it with dark colored bobby pins. “Beautiful and all grown up. You've been a woman for a while, sooner than I might have wished, but tonight, everyone will see you as one. That comes with responsibilities. Your brother has spoken to you about what we'll require from you in the near future?”

“Yes, ma'am.” Jaqui slid long white satin gloves over her slightly trembling arms. 

“We're counting on you. Your task begins tonight and you will not fail, is that understood?” She spoke firmly but lovingly, as if she wasn't changing the course of her daughter's entire life. 

“Yes, ma'am.” _Yes, ma'am, I will die inside to everything I ever wanted in service of my family and I'll bow to your will. Literally._ She sat, expressionless, hands folded tightly in her lap, un shed tears stinging behind her eyes. _Can't ruin the makeup, after all_. It felt like a deep and terrible loss of all the things she could now, never be. 

Tonight was a night for the women of Gilboa to shine. Wealthy women competed to see who could get dresses and jewelry from the best designers, it was the culmination of years of grooming their daughters in protocol and waltzing in order to sell them to the highest bidder. Oh, no one was talking about that part, but it was definitely a component in other societies that historically practiced the debutante system. Here are our daughters, see what expensive investments we've made in them, don't make us regret it. The thrones were brought out in the big formal ballroom, tonight the queen would sit in the center with her husband and son off to the side in their tuxedos. A string quartet played light, amusing waltzes in the background while Gilboa's elite roamed the room. Jaqui took her place at the head of the line of girls waiting in an ante room. Because she was lead deb by default, she took time out to alternately shush the other girls and soothe their nerves. These were not the troops she'd dreamed of leading but she was well practiced at it and they followed her around like little well dressed ducklings. The crowd settled down, she heard voices making pompous proclamations before a couple of guards opened the heavy oak doors. 

“Princess Jacqueline Esther Benjamin, escorted by Captain Joshua Austin.” 

Jaqui took a deep breath and stepped out. The room went quiet as she walked forward, not too slow, not too fast, with her head held high and still like there was still a dictionary balanced on top. Camera bulbs flashed courtesy of the handful of photographers given permission to record the event. Time seemed to slow down as she approached the dais where her parents and brother stood. Jaqui stopped in front of her mother and folded into a deep, graceful curtsey, hardly daring to look up. For most of these girls, it was just symbolic, but to Jaqui and her parents, it signified acceptance of their new plan for her life. Even the princess must acknowledge her submission to the queen in public. Especially the princess. She counted out the required seconds, and rose without incident, assisted by Captain Austin, a handsome but utterly generic boy her parents had picked out, who turned her to face the audience. She did a second, less protracted and deep, curtsey, flashed a sparkling smile at the world, and the whole room applauded. Tomorrow's top celebrity feature on UNN, a girl walked across a room in a pretty dress. Hand resting lightly on Captain Austin's arm, she moved away as the next girl was announced. 

The girls twirled around the dancefloor with their escorts for the first formal dance, all in time together and all in white. Captain Austin wasn't a great dancer, so Jaqui subtly led him, while occasionally turning her head to smile charmingly at the press. On one of these smiling, spinning turns, she caught the eye of a petite, curly haired blonde girl in the arms of her own date. Her blue eyes seemed to see right through all Jaqui's pretenses, making Jaqui blush, and falter, and gasp. 

“Sorry, did I step on your foot?” Captain Austin asked. 

“No, I-” Jaqui trailed off. “I need a breather.” It took two songs for her to accomplish an escape, she made a beeline for the refreshments when she saw the blonde girl sneaking an extra three or four mini blueberry cheesecake tarts. Frustratingly, the girl was gone when she reached the table, but she saw a blonde head disappearing around a corner. Jaqui grabbed a couple of the tarts and followed. 

“I know, it's like we've been starving for months, they keep showing us all this food and we're not actually supposed to eat it,” Jaqui said, surprising the girl in the act of stuffing her face. "No one ever told me there was a fasting vow involved." 

“Oh my gosh, I'm so hungry,” she admitted. “I couldn't stand it any longer.” 

“I'm Jacqueline.”

Jaqui nibbled on a tart and discreetly licked her lips. The other girl's eyes zeroed in on her mouth and they both flushed.

“Oh, I know. I mean- everyone knows. Josephine Lasile, but I prefer Jo.”

“I do make an effort to get to know all the girls at least a bit,” Jaqui said. “But I only noticed you just now, _so_ rude of me. Would you like to get some air?” Gloved arm in gloved arm, they slipped out a side door into Altar Mansion's garden. Soon, couples would stray out into the dimly illuminated paths to look at the stars but for now, they were alone. They strolled, talking quietly among the scent of cherry blossoms. About movies, music, comparing the schools they'd just graduated from. Jaqui found herself telling Jo things she'd never told anyone else, forgetting the danger of being too open with not just a subject but a virtual stranger. 

“My whole future is already planned out by other people. Every part of it."

"Everything?"

"I didn't even exactly choose this dress,"Jaqui said. " I feel like a doll in it. And tonight I made a promise to someone, that I'm petrified of actually keeping.” 

“A marriage thing,” Jo said astutely. Jaqui nodded helplessly. It filled her with a panic she couldn't quite vocalize but she made a stammering effort anyway. 

“What if I don't love him? The guy they pick if I don't pick for myself, and soon? What if I can't love anyone? What if doing what they want kills anything real that I am?” 

Jo pressed her lips to Jaqui's gently. Jaqui stood there for a second, shocked at her new friend's boldness. And then she gave herself into it wholeheartedly. It was supposed to be wrong, a violation of God's laws. But no, this was right. This was what all her interactions with boys never had, there was nothing forced or awkward or about kissing Jo. She'd kissed girls before, once before The Bad Thing happened, and later because boys thought it was hot. But this was no semi humiliating _performance_ , Jo, she was warm and soft and tasted like blueberry cheesecake, and they both gave and took equally. She wanted this, mostly with Jo, but definitely _this, girls_ and nothing else.

"Jaqui! Jaqui!" Someone- Thomasina- was calling for her. 

"I want to see you again," Jo blurted out as Jaqui gasped and stepped away quickly. 

"I'll find a way, " Jaqui assured her. Thomasina came around the corner, and raised an eyebrow at them.

"You're needed inside, Miss." Jaqui followed her, forcing herself not to look back at Josephine. It would go better for both of them if her dream died in the garden.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> will be taking a short break to polish this and decide where it's going in the future.
> 
> If this was filmed, I'd imagine the slightly smoother, more orchestra version of 
> 
>  
> 
> [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sc-w35Z16zg)
> 
>  
> 
> playing at some point in the background while the extras in white dresses and tuxes are dancing (in elaborately choreographed formations) and Jo and Jacqui are falling in love.


	9. Chapter 9

**Three Years Ago**

“I thought I asked you to meet me inside,” William said, sliding into the backseat of Jaqui's car. It was raining, he snapped a dripping umbrella closed. 

“Is Andrew home?” She already knew the answer, she'd seen his blond head peeking out from behind some upstairs window curtains. 

“Oh, yes. I apologize, I should've warned you that he would be home. He usually is, since he came back. I can't get that boy to go out and meet people.” 

“Do you really want him to?” Jaqui asked, raising an eyebrow. “ _He's_ not people, after all.” 

“Jaqui,” William admonished. But she'd seen the uncomfortable look in his eyes when the subject of Andrew came up in polite conversation. “From now on, our meetings will take place in cars or at my office. I don't want to make this hard on you.” 

“Yeah, thanks.” 

He placed a reassuring hand on her arm. She anxiously shifted away. 

“I'm not here to make use of what I paid for. I'm a lot of things but I assure you, I have no interest in screwing my niece in the back of a car.” 

“So you wanna wait til we get to a hotel?” Jaqui asked, semi sarcastically, tapping her fingers nervously on the armrest. Uncle William didn't have a wife, after all, and she'd never quite figured him out. What was his deal? Men? Women? Apple pies? Potted plants? And she didn't know if she'd be relieved if he wanted her or completely beyond freaked out. Either way, she needed him if she wanted that crown and that might mean finding out. 

“No. My god, you're a damaged young lady. You owe me nothing until there's a crown on your head. Now, where shall we have lunch?” 

**Present Day**

“Dianna, I want to buy us a new apartment,” Jaqui announced as their driver pulled into the secure parking garage behind the Capitol Building. “Don't argue, I can easily afford it now that I've transferred some money.” 

“Just how much money do you have?” Dianna asked. “And you don't have to buy us an apartment.” They stepped out, escorted by Tammuz and Perez, they entered a creaky, dingy elevator and rode it to the second floor. 

“Oh yes, I do,” Jaqui said. “I spent two years locked in a bedroom. I want more space. I _need_ more space. If I don't get my own bathroom again soon, I swear I'll turn violent.” 

“Are you trying to pick an argument because you're nervous about today?” Dianna asked. Jaqui was. She was dealing with a serious case of cold feet. Bitching helped, usually. But she rolled her eyes and pretended otherwise. 

“If you'd like to freshen up, there's a ladies room down the hall,” Captain Tammuz said. “You've got a half hour.” Dianna and Jaqui slipped through the doors while the soldiers waited a discreet distance outside. 

“Is this the money from your uncle?” Dianna asked. She inspected herself from all angles in the long mirror. They both wore dark colored linen blazers, coordinated with linen skirts. Professional, but not intimidating, nice but not too glamorous. And they both felt weird without their dress uniforms, but of course, Jaqui had left hers behind in Shiloh, if she even still had a formal rank and Dianna wanted the Gathians to feel comfortable around her (and she'd also been stripped of formal rank). “Why did he leave you a trust?” 

“You know how my pussy is causing an international incident?” Jaqui leaned in close and breathed in Dianna's ear, brushing their breasts together. “It's worth four million dollars. Most expensive thing you've ever had your mouth on- unless you went around licking my parents furniture.” 

“Don't talk like that.” Dianna frowned. “Don't put yourself down.” Jaqui cocked her head. 

“I'm _not_.” 

Dianna turned Jaqui to face the mirror. With an arm looped around her waist, she kissed Jaqui's ear, her neck, and just under her collar. 

“I don't understand how or why you know that figure,” she murmured. Jaqui shivered. Dianna slid her hands up Jaqui's skirt, lowering her stockings. She gently drew Jaqui's thin silk panties to her knees. “Or how your uncle fits in.”

“Surprisingly well,” Jaqui said. “He had a lot of stamina for someone over 40. He said I was the tightest thing he'd ever been in and gave me a trust fund. ” A partial lie, she said it to get a rise out of Dianna and it worked. OW! That stung, she wiggled her ass against the warm palm that was now rubbing her skin. Dianna's long fingers slipped inside her wetness, Jaqui moaned. Dianna rocked her fingers in a steady rhythm. 

“ That's my Jaqui,” Dianna purred. 

Jaqui began to tremble, pleasure overwhelming her whole body. Her hands slid on the wet countertop, legs shook, unbalanced on her high heels. Her glance slid away, nervous about how public this act was. Anyone could walk in at any moment. Dianna cupped her chin and forced Jaqui to stare into the mirror. 

“Don't you dare look away,” she said. “Look at yourself. You're so much more than you think you are. You're not an object for sale.” Jaqui stared into her own blue eyes, huge with desire, her own white teeth biting down on her lower lip. “You're a brave warrior. You're so, so brave.” Jaqui shuddered, rocking into Dianna's touch, her breasts rising with the arching of her body, tossing her head back as her orgasm built. “You're my queen and you will go.out.there.and _act like one_.” Jaqui collapsed, resting her head on her elbows, soaked between her thighs and coming all over Dianna's hands. She heard the faucet come on, and Dianna began gently cleaning her up with some of the tissues that were in a basket of complimentary health and comfort items. Dianna helped her stand on shaky legs, and pulled up her underwear and nylons. Then Dianna kissed her. 

“Thanks,” Jaqui sighed. “Just give me a sec to make sure my legs are working.” Tammuz smirked and Perez raised an eyebrow when they exited the washroom. Jaqui was walking in a manner Dianna hadn't seen in a long time, a _sexy, aggressive strut_ , the queen bitch back in her element. Dianna adored it. 

Reporters gathered on the steps of the Capitol Building, surrounding a microphone. Dianna spoke into it first, thanking the press for coming out on such a foggy day. 

“I called you here today to make a statement in regards to the accusation leveled at me by King Silas of Gilboa. In answer to the charge that I unlawfully took his daughter and her husband and am holding them hostage, Princess Jacqueline Benjamin Wolfson has not been kidnapped, nor is she being held against her will in Gath. She was removed from Shiloh by friends of hers, for her own safety. She'd like to make a formal public statement, to set the record straight. ” Dianna stepped aside, lightly brushing Jaqui's hand reassuringly, out of camera range. Jaqui stepped up to the microphone. She was rusty at Princessing but the skills came back and she sparkled for the crowd, all shining bouncy curls and glossy lips and big doe eyes that could seduce from a hundred feet away without speaking. 

“I want my parents to know that I'm safe and I'm residing in Gath of my own free will. My friends took steps to remove me from an abusive situation, which I'm very grateful for and I am requesting that my family leave me in peace for the time being. Please, don't hold the people of Gath accountable, they had nothing to do with my actions. Captain Shepherd is my friend and adviser and she has seen that no harm has come to me during my stay in Gath. Thank you. ” 

“We'll take any questions, at this time,” Dianna said. “Yes- Selah Sun Times?”

“What about your husband?” the reporter asked Jaqui. 

“My husband is also well. He is living with me, although we're currently seeking a divorce.” She got a thrill out of the sudden burst of scandalized whispering and camera flashes going off. Somewhere in Gilboa, her father was watching this, she hoped he was apoplectic. 

“Can you tell us why?”

“Not at this time, no,” Jaqui said. “But the case will be resolved in the religious courts, since my father declines to involve himself.” 

“What if King Silas uses military might to force the issue?” a different reporter asked. 

“Then we'll meet him head on,” Jaqui replied. “But I hope it doesn't come to that, because it doesn't need to and we don't want anyone getting hurt. It's a waste of resources for everyone, isn't it?” 

After the press conference, they called up Abigail Nichols Realty and made an appointment to look at houses.


	10. They say love brings hurt

**Three Years Ago**

“Are you playing Grand Theft Auto ?” Jaqui asked, pausing in her anxious wandering around the room. Her future husband sat on the floor intensely involved in stealing computer generated cars. They'd been in this suite since the disaster that was David's trial for treason. Hiding from the king's murderous anger, mostly. She cursed the fact that she'd had a perfect chance to ditch Luke and instead, someone else had helpfully arranged to bring him to her, because of course she'd want her boyfriend safe and close by. 

“I have to do something to pass the time, and you've taken up all the pacing,” Luke replied. She was almost about to join him when Andrew entered, divesting himself of a heavy winter coat. William followed. 

“You call this a safehouse?” Jaqui demanded. “ I'm suffocating. My father is the one who should be in prison, not me. You said we would act now.”

“He lost their trust when the treasury collapsed. Their security when the city went dark. Thanks to you, they all know he's a petty murderer. The people will beg you to take his place,” Uncle William said. And then he added “No one will remember the names your father called you.”

Which only served to remind her of the names her father had called her, reigniting her rage and humiliation. She wished William wasn't so skilled at pushing her buttons, she could never get her balance in conversations with him. 

“Then it happens. At Port Prosperity.”

He smiled and clapped her on the shoulder. 

“Your last day as princess. A king falls, a queen rises. All it will take is a little pain.”

**Present**

Abigail Nichols, a bubbly older woman with a long, thick , dark braid, showed up to the appointment herself instead of sending an underling. She looked them up and down with a sparkle in her eyes and a speculative grin. Jaqui shifted possessively closer to Dianna. 

“I really think you're gonna be happy with this one,” Abigail said, unlocking the front door of a large white cottage in a wooded spot on the shores of the river. Diana's hand bumped against Jaqui's as they entered a sunny, whitewashed front hall with gleaming hardwood floors, a stairway and living room to the left, and a spare room to the right. 

“Would make a nice office,” Dianna said, of the room on the right. Jaqui nodded, picturing bookshelves pushed against the wall, and thinking about maybe buying Dianna a piano for the living room. 

“Come look at the kitchen. It's completely modernized, but maintains its essential charm-either of you into cooking?” 

“Eh, not really,” Jaqui said. “Maybe I could learn. I could make breakfast in a frilly apron.”

“Oh god,” Dianna said. “Please don't try that. I'm sure Luke would love that but I'm not him, Perez will be here a lot, and he's a good cook. Can we see the bathrooms and bedrooms?” They followed Abigail up the stairs while she chattered about wiring, and square footage, and the number of bathrooms. 

“I love it,” Jaqui admitted, stepping into a large, shady bedroom with big windows overlooking the grassy hill that sloped down toward the water. She opened the closet and peered inside. “Dianna, it's huuuge. Are the other bedrooms this nice?”

“Are you buying for a large family or a- small one? Are there children or are children expected?” Abigail asked. 

“Just the two of us, and my husband,” Jaqui said without thinking. Abigail slanted her eyes toward Dianna again. 

“You're not married?” she asked Dianna. Dianna just smiled. But her gaze never left Abigail as the realtor led them back downstairs. 

“Take the paperwork home, look it over,”Abigail said, leaning in close and placing the sheaf of paper in Dianna's hand. She had a bruise on her right temple, she'd done a good job of covering it with makeup but the haunted, hunted look that crossed her face every once in awhile wasn't too different from the look Dianna remembered seeing in Jaqui's eyes the day she kicked down that door. Still saw in Jaqui's eyes sometimes. “I'm gonna put my _personal_ phone number on top here so you can reach me as soon as you've decided.” She took her time writing it down and smiled up at Dianna. 

“I'll take those,”Jaqui said. She usually handled the paperwork, the money, the business relationships. And Abigail was treating her as if she was invisible. 

"And here's mine,"Dianna said. "If you need...anything..." 

.

**Three Years Ago**

“And the audience that awaits us?” Jaqui heard her father ask as she entered the sitting room, in her dress uniform again, nervously trailing her mother and Michael, with Luke and Michael's new parentally approved “girlfriend”, the utterly without personality Paula Lash, following. 

“Handpicked on both sides,” Thomasina assured him. Silas flicked his eyes up at the family gathering. Jaqui's mother gave her a warning look. Silas raised his eyebrows. 

“I come to beg forgiveness,” Jaqui said. She should have added more humility to her tone but she was barely keeping her anger in check as it was. Silas beckoned her closer.

“Forgiveness is a form of love and I do not love you.”

“Silas,” Queen Rose interjected, “ yes, you do." He'd been hard on her from the day she chose not to conform to his plan for her life, but he had never, ever, given her reason to believe she was _truly unloved_. She wanted to believe the man smirking at her was not her father, but she had no hope left for that. 

_How does he seem?_

_Focused, concerned. He wants me to back up whatever lies he can find about David._

_You came to me first. Nice to see your loyalty without having to ask for it._

_I understand my commitments._

“Kneel,” Her father said. Jaqui blinked. _What?_ He took a sip of his champagne and repeated the command.

“Kneel.”

She sank to her knees, shocked by the coldness in his voice, awkward in her skirt and high heels. 

“Now kiss the ground I walk on,” Silas said calmly. “I know you prefer carpet... but that's been our problem all along, hasn't it.” No one said a word or moved in any way to defend her, she couldn't see them behind her but she figured they were all looking away, embarrassed. 

_“Dianna Shepherd is better than both of us, innocent, deserving respect!”_

_“What do you know about respect? You've never had it-” Silas snarled._

_“You are no king!”_

_“And you're no princess, you DYKE!” His triumphant shout was like a slap. But he couldn't hurt her anymore with slurs and accusations, not now. She had nothing but a cold stare for him as she straightened her spine against the verbal assault._

Jaqui swallowed hard, blinked back tears and bent forward, palms pressing against the hardwood floor. She moved slowly, stiffly, lowering her face to touch her lips to the space just right of her father's shoe. After a moment, she raised herself up again, sitting with her head bowed, palms resting on her thighs. Her father leaned forward. 

“That's the second time your mother's given you life. It'll be the last.”

_His eyes had the kind of manic gleam in them that always preceded what her mother referred to as “an episode”. But this time, no one was discretely stepping in to suggest he might be tired, they were all just sitting there, staring at him in a deadly quiet courtroom. “ Guards, arrest Major Benjamin! Take Captain Shepherd back to her cell!  
Jaqui remained stone faced as the guards firmly but respectfully led her from the room, chaos exploding behind her. Dianna shot her a terrified look as she was hauled away far less gently. The guards led Jaqui out a side door to the grassy area behind Unity Hall, she braced for her inevitable “accident”, ready to take it like a man. But instead, one of the guys handed her a gun of her own, and Uncle William rolled down the window of a waiting car. _

_“Well, come on,” he said._

Silas stood and left the room, followed by the rest of her family. Queen Rose reached down to place a comforting touch on Jaqui's shoulder, but Jaqui pulled away. Humiliated, she pulled herself into the chair recently occupied by her father and struggled to get her tears and her breathing under control as she shook with anger. 

_a king falls, a queen rises. All it will take is a little pain._

**Present**  
Jaqui slammed the door of their new bedroom and stalked towards Dianna, stripping off her clothes as she moved. It was great that Luke had his own bedroom now, on the other side of the house because she planned for this to get _loud_. Dianna's eyes widened, pleased and intrigued. 

“So, Abigail. Do you want her?” Jaqui pushed Dianna backward on the bed, pulled Dianna's underpants off and tossed them behind her. She dove under Dianna's skirt. 

“Whuh?” Dianna gasped, befuddled by the sharpness in Jaqui's voice coupled with what Jaqui was doing with her tongue. Jaqui raised her head from between Dianna's legs.

“Do _you_ ,”she repeated, in her _talking to a small stupid child_ voice, “want her?” 

“I ...yes,” Dianna admitted. “Do you mind?”

“What's to mind?” Jaqui said with a shrug of one shoulder. “I may be buying us a house but we're not _dating_. I'm the one who made the promise to be whatever you needed, we never outlined what your rules are.” 

“I was only trying to be polite, anyway,” Dianna said. 

“Right, you don't owe me anything,” Jaqui agreed. “I just need to know what to expect, okay?” Jaqui licked her lips _really slowly_ and bent her head again. Dianna worried that on some level, it was all absolutely _not_ okay for Jaqui but if she refused to come out and say it, then Dianna was going to ignore those feelings because who the hell did she think she was, pulling something like that? Jaqui always had an angle and Dianna had been jerked around by her more than enough in situations both sexual and non. Jaqui was _exhausting_ and _frustrating_ sometimes. 

The doorbell rang.

“I”ll get it,” Jaqui volunteered. She rose to her feet and wiped her face with a tissue.

“Then you'll come back and finish what you started, right?” Dianna moaned. 

“You have two working hands,” Jaqui snapped. “Or you could call Abigail.” Throwing on a robe, she padded down the stairs and peered through the peephole. Her brother Mike stood on the other side, hands thrown up in a gesture of surrender, Sergeant Perez holding a gun to his head.


	11. I say love brings healing

Gathians were unfazed by open homosexuality, gay couples showed affection in public and had all the same rights and privileges as straight people. For the last few months, they'd even been making regular public appearances as an unofficial couple. So they had a habit of indulging in all those little touches and glances that lovers use. Mike's face wrinkled up in confusion every time their hands brushed or they leaned in too close or smiled too softly. 

“I'm a little tired, I'd like to turn in,” Mike said, pushing away his plate. “Dinner was fantastic, by the way. Who's responsible for that? The steak....I mean, God.” 

“That would be Sergeant Perez,” Jaqui said. “If you wanna thank him, I think he's cleaning his guns on the back porch.” She stood and began clearing the table. Her breast brushed Dianna's shoulder as she reached for the plates, she blushed a little, avoiding Mike's curious glance. Dianna and Mike left after saying goodnight. Jaqui carried the dishes into the kitchen and slowly set about scraping and washing them. 

Luke wandered in, dressed in his boxers and t shirt. 

“Is it true, the prince is back?” 

“Yeah,” Jaqui said without turning around. “He's upstairs with Dianna. They haven't seen each other in two and a half years.” 

“I'm sorry. For-for you.” 

“Look,” Jaqui said. “Don't.” 

“I'll go back to my room. I was just hungry.” 

Jaqui put two bowls and two spoons on the table. She reached into the freezer and produced a gallon of the honey cinnamon frozen yogurt she'd been saving for a quiet night alone with Dianna. She put two scoops in each bowl and shoved one across the table at him. 

“Might as well join the pity party.” 

Dianna had sought comfort and release with both Tammuz and Itai Perez at various points in the past, but she was mostly used to the feel of Jaqui's body beside her. Her round breasts and sloping curves and long hair. And her scent, she smelled like ocean water and roses. Dianna and Mike had never had a chance to get used to sleeping together. They had no rhythm, no pattern, it was hardly the explosive sex everyone downstairs must have thought they were having. It was...nice...but she barely came, and had to fake it so his feelings wouldn't be hurt. 

“You're not okay,” he said, resting his hand on her waist as they lay facing each other. “This was disappointing for you...” 

“A little,” she admitted. “I guess we're not the same people any more.” 

“Is there someone else?” 

“I've been with other people since I left you in Shiloh. A couple of other men-nice guys in their own way, you'd like them, and two women.”

“Women,” he said flatly. “You and Jaqui. I'm not an idiot.”

“Yeah,” she confessed tearfully. Most men would not have seen it so quickly, but Mike was better than that and maybe he had special powers of observation when it came to his twin sister. “I think I love her. As much as I love you but I-” 

“Let's not drag this out until we grow to hate each other,” Mike said. “She needs you more than I do. She needs someone to watch her back, and keep her on the right path. Plus, she already gave the kingdom an heir, and she could even produce another one, I can't do that.” 

“Gilboa can't have two queens.”

“I'm not going to leave you, not if you don't want that. I'll just...step aside privately. For her. I can still be of use in helping to run the kingdom.” 

“I meant, Jaqui still has a husband. And nobody knows that you and I were married by Samuels before I ran.” 

“Good lord, this is a mess,” Mike said. They both heard it, the soft, horrified gasp and the sound of feet running away down a carpeted hallway. 

**Three Years Ago**

The force of the bullet threw her against the desk, slamming her head into the wood. She sat there, crumpled and stunned while people ran around above her, shouting, grabbing at the king. Out in the audience, there was screaming and a mad, panicked race for the door. Soldiers of both Gilboa and Gath tried to corral them, someone in authority shouted that everyone should remain calm and not to leave the building. Jaqui balanced herself on her good arm, hissing from the agonizing fire in her left shoulder and managed to pull herself up, despite her impractical shoes and skirt.

Paramedics lifted the king on a stretcher, all crowded around him so she could only see a bit of his hand. Her mother's white suit was covered in the king's blood, Jaqui's dark blue uniform camouflaged the sticky patch of blood on her shoulder. Guards found Jaqui just as the world began to spin again and she tried to clutch at the desk to keep from falling. As they supported her, pulling her roughly toward the exit, she looked up and saw her Uncle William and Andrew, at the top of the stairs, protected by the pillars of a balcony. 

_A king will fall, a queen will rise, all it will take is a little pain_. 

But not his, oh, never _his_. 

**Present**

“Jaqui,” Dianna said. “Please talk to me.” Everyone else was out doing errands in the morning, it was time to have that horrible conversation she absolutely did not want to have with Jaqui. She hovered in the doorway of the living room, wishing Jaqui would stop looking so hurt and betrayed and...resigned. And chugging scotch like it was free by the gallon. 

“My status as an adulteress- and utter failure at being a wife in general- is an open secret now,”Jaqui said. “But you never mentioned the part where you not only married my brother but _you're still married to my brother_.” 

“I promised him I'd come back. But when I did, he was gone. I believed we'd never see each other again because I had no idea where - ” Dianna took hesitant steps closer. 

“I thought, when you came back for me, that it was _me_ you wanted.” Jaqui ran a hand over her face and groaned. 

“I couldn't leave you behind, you're my friend. But I loved your brother before we were even _friends_ ,” Dianna protested. “He was my first, I -”

“He was your _first_?” Jaqui gasped. “That's hilarious. Everything really does work out for you, doesn't it. Daring feats of heroism performed in battle, falling ass backwards into a promotion, magically discovering the Royal Charter on a mission you were supposed to die on, being told all my dad's deepest secrets- _like the part where he has an entire secret family he never told us about_ , and losing your virginity to a gorgeous prince who is a genuinely nice and caring guy. If my darling brother didn't shoot blanks, you'd already be queen! I mean, _fuck you_ , Dianna Shepherd, _fuck you_!” She slammed her glass down on top of the piano. 

“Who was your first?” Dianna asked. Like that was the point of Jaqui's rant. Her eyes widened slightly in obvious-and perceptive-concern. 

“Andrew Cross,” Jaqui blurted out. “He pushed me down on the floor and he forced himself on me. We were just kids. I never had a chance to be _good_ and _pure_ like the Great Goddess Dianna. The money that bought this house? It was my _compensation_. Only one person besides Mike ever helped me feel safe and normal and _she killed herself because of the things I did to her_! Of course you'd rather be with Saint Michael.” 

Dianna pulled her into a hug, Jaqui shoved her away, fists instinctively rising like a boxer. Dianna's fists flew up defensively and she took a few graceful steps away. 

“If we throw down, will that make it better?” she asked. 

“Yeah. No. I don't know,” Jaqui responded, and sucker punched her in the eye. Pain exploded in the area of her nose as Dianna retaliated. Jaqui reeled back – Dianna punched her in the stomach before she recovered her balance. 

“Bitch,”Jaqui spat out, swinging at Dianna's chin. Dianna took it like a champ and flung Jaqui against the piano. Jaqui stumbled, went ass over teakettle over the top of the piano, crashed into the piano bench and rolled to the floor. She leg swept Dianna, who tumbled down on top of her. Jaqui punched her fists against every part of Dianna she could reach. They were too evenly matched in height, muscle, conditioning and skill level, making it ultimately the most futile fight either woman had ever been in. 

“Are we really doing this _again_?” Dianna gasped, her breath ragged as she attempted to hold off Jaqui's fists by gripping her wrists. Jaqui easily broke the hold, and kneed her in the ribcage. Dianna rolled on top of Jaqui and pinned her down, one hand tangled tightly in her curls. Jaqui was good, but she always let her emotions take over, and Dianna had seven rowdy older brothers. 

“Dianna-” Jaqui choked out, pupils dilated, breathing hard amidst the tears streaming down her face and blood trickling out her nose. 

“I know, baby, I know. I _do_ love you,” Dianna panted, through the pain of bruised ribs. 

“Nobody loves me,” Jaqui replied. “I can't see how they ever could.”

“You are so.very.wrong.about that,” Dianna said, gently kissing all her bruises and cuts. “I do. I tried to pretend otherwise, which was just stupid of me. I- I'm not monogamous but I don't want to hurt anyone, because I really did mean everything I told you. I mean, is that something you can deal with?” 

Jaqui thought about it hard for a moment.

“Yeah,” she said. “I was just upset because you didn't ask me, you acted like you could just do whatever you wanted. And I remembered my dad cheating on my mom for like, my whole entire life and coming home pretending to be this great family man. You should have told me about Mike. But really, the cheating horse has already left the Barn of Adultery for both of us anyway.” She struggled to sit up. “Get off me.” But it was said sort of affectionately Dianna climbed off her and helped her to her feet. 

“Barn of Adultery?” 

“Oh, shut up.” In the kitchen, they broke into a First Aid kit to patch up their cuts and used packages of frozen vegetables to soothe bruises (both Itai and Abigail insisted that's all they were good for anyway). 

“When Andrew hurt me, I fought back,” Jaqui said. “I kicked him, I ran and when he caught me, after he was done with me and I had my chance, I stabbed him. With a knife I found before he caught up with me. But...” her tongue darted out to nervously wet her lips. “ I didn't fight Luke. I guess I didn't think I was worth it anymore. I know- I know what you told me, that I _am_ but I didn't feel like that when I was trapped in that room with him.” 

“You were also heavily drugged,” Dianna pointed out. “And in an impossible, un-winnable situation. Biding your time was a better battle strategy, there's no shame in that.”

“Yeah,” Jaqui said, smiling sadly, “ I'll take that explanation.” She decided not to tell Dianna about all the times after, torturing Luke by putting herself under on purpose, daring him to take what he needed. Nobody would ever understand that part. 

**Three Years Ago**

“Captain Dianna Shepherd, you have been condemned to death by the king. What you have to say, we are ready to hear.”

She looked up at the sky that was too impossibly blue for the day when she would die. Her arms were tied behind her, and they had drawn a large white X in chalk on the front of her uniform. 

“I have only ever lived for peace,” Dianna prayed. “I lift my eyes to you, and I know I'll find it.” 

“Ready.”

Dianna squeezed her eyes shut and continued to move her lips in prayer.

“Aim.”

Dianna had been more than sure she was about to die. That's why they put you in front of firing squads. There would be no last minute, miraculous rescues and she had made her peace with that. So she did not expect all of the guards dropping like deflated balloons around her as an entirely different set of soldiers arrived, untied her and transported her to Unity Hall. She remained inside a little closed off area behind a decorative iron gate, although the gate was left open, she was clearly not a prisoner but also expected to remain in place. The guards parted to reveal Jaqui, looking stunning in a silvery gray dress and a a pair of fantastic purple heels. Her left arm was cradled in a sling. 

“It's true, then,” Dianna said. “He's dead?” Silas was dead, or so they were saying on the news. Shot by an assassin from Gath, the princess had dove in front of him but failed to save him and was wounded herself. 

“Mourn if you must.” Jaqui crossed the floor and hugged Dianna tightly with her good arm. She pulled back and fussed with Dianna's lapels and tie. It was a disconcertingly loving gesture, and her eyes were softly focused on Dianna's. “I was worried you wouldn't make this.” 

“It was you.” Dianna blinked. “You saved my life. Why?” _Why?_ Why was Jaqui clearly more concerned about Dianna's safety than her own father's possible death? 

“We're rid of the poison,” Jaqui said. “My father is gone. It's my turn to rule and I want to do it well. I need someone Good around here. I'll try to do right by your example. I swear from this moment on, I am your friend.”


	12. I am right beside you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this one is a little long. And warnings because the Cross family is guest starring again.

**Three Years Ago**

_He told her to shut up. He told her to shut up in front of the entire court_. 

“He told me to shut up!” Jaqui ranted as she stormed down the hall toward her own bedroom suite. 

“I know. I didn't expect that,” Dianna said. “He hasn't even bothered to pretend. He undermined your authority. Do you want me to do something about it?” Seeing Jaqui forced back into the chair at gunpoint, looking around her with huge, confused, humiliated eyes had brought out Dianna's protective instincts but she was totally at sea as to what she was supposed to do for Jaqui. She was clearly not at all in control of the situation and if she wasn't, what did that mean for the people who depended on her? 

“No, keep your head down. I need you too much.” 

Someone had left a garment bag on her bed. There was a note attached. 

_Wear this tonight._

“Who left this here?” Jaqui asked the maid. 

“Your uncle, ma'am. He requests your presence at dinner tonight.” Dianna raised her eyebrows. 

“ _He_ requests _my_ presence?” Jaqui muttered. She unzipped the bag and found a filmy, pale pink dress inside, too tight, with thin shoulder straps, deep v neck and a slit up the side. In the right light, it might even be see through. It came with matching lingerie. She dropped it as if it was on fire. That was _not_ what you wore to dinner with your uncle. 

“I'm not supposed to let you leave without putting it on,” the maid spoke up nervously. 

“I'll take the responsibility,” Dianna said. “Go. Leave us.” The girl fled, head ducked down in a posture that they didn't normally see on palace staff, everyone was on edge now. “That is one slutty dress. Well, I mean, I wouldn't wear it.” 

“No, it is,” Jaqui said. “It's a basic rule, you only expose one thing at a time. Ugh.” She began stripping off her clothes, down to her silky slip and wriggled out of her pantyhose. “And that color.” 

“You usually like jewel tones,” Dianna agreed lamely. 

“I'm gonna shower, and then you can help me figure it out.” 

The outfit seemed designed to both portray her as an innocent little girl and show off just how much she wasn't at the same time. Dianna knew Jaqui'd been working that image her entire life but it seemed so _gross_ when someone else shown a big spot light on it, as if they were trying to demonstrate their control over her. 

“Uh...Dianna?” Jaqui called. “Get in here, I need help.” Dianna followed the sound of her friend's imperious voice to a huge, luxurious bathroom, half steamed up by Jaqui's shower. Dianna glimpsed marble counter tops, and shelves filled with fluffy monogrammed towels and bottles of high end lotions. 

“It's just- my arm,” Jaqui explained. She demonstrated her failed attempt to raise it past her shoulder, grimacing in pain. “I did alright washing and drying but I can't get this fucking bra on.” Dianna took the bra and stepped up behind her, blushing because Jaqui was pink, still slightly damp and very, very naked. Jaqui lifted her right breast so Dianna could help her situate it in the cup. “Uh, you have to do the other one.”

“Right. Okay.” Dianna swallowed hard and placed her palm on Jaqui's bare skin. Nipples...oh no, oh no, _don't look_. Jaqui smirked at her. An electricity passed between them, Dianna broke the moment by stepped around behind her to fasten the back. Jaqui bent over, right in front of her and wriggled into the matching panties. Dianna followed her back into the bedroom.

“Let me,” Dianna said softly. She gently combed out Jaqui's hair, still warm from the blowdryer and pinned it up with a set of bejeweled bobby pins she found on the vanity. “Gotta warn you, I suck at makeup.” 

“Oh, honey,” Jaqui said. “I _know_. We all know.” Dianna zipped the dress up, lingering just a bit too long and wistfully with her hand on the back of Jaqui's neck. Jaqui sort of bumped her arm affectionately before stepping into gold kitten heels and turning to leave. An armed soldier escorted her to the dining room, something felt off about that, too but maybe it was best to take precautions in the next few days. They told her she had to come alone, she left Dianna back in the room, looking worried. 

“Hey, Jaqui,” Andrew said when she entered. “Do you like the dress I had picked out for you?”

“What's he doing here?” The guard pulled her chair out and once again, firmly but gently pushed her into it. Her mother and brother were not present, which set off another set of alarm bells. 

“I occasionally have dinner with my son,” William replied. “Wine?” A wine steward appeared at her elbow and poured her a glass of red without waiting for her consent. 

“What's this about?” She drank the entire glass and stuck it out for more. 

“I'd like to discuss the preparations for your royal wedding,” William said, cutting into his steak with precise, fussy movements. 

“Then where’s Luke?” Jaqui asked. “I want Luke here.” It would help to not be outnumbered. He was stupid but at least he was big, strong, and one hundred percent loyal to her. 

“You won't be marrying that piece of attractive furniture,” William explained. “You'll be marrying Andrew. In two months. Officially. Unofficially, your relationship will begin tonight.” 

“No,” Jaqui said. “I won't. How could you do this to me?” 

“I had to promise him a reward for behaving himself all this time.” 

“No...” Jaqui snapped. “No.” She fought the urge to run, glancing quickly at the exits, only to realize there was only one way out and it was blocked by an armed guard. 

“He's my son,” William said simply. “ He's lonely, he can't get a girl the normal way. I need to cement my rule with an heir and you're the only fertile Benjamin around here. Don't whine about your honor, either, we both know you don't have any, you were half willing to give yourself to _me_ if I got the crown for you, you're a beautiful little whore but it's time to stop playing games. You have a crown, now you owe us.” 

“ I'm not a whore.” She gripped her knife, with fantasies of sliding it into their chests and watching them bleed out all over the table. She could do it, she could move faster than both of them , but probably not faster than the armed guards. 

“Oh, Jaqui,” William said with a condescending smile. “Yes, you are.” 

**Present**

Jaqui's divorce hearing was held that spring, in Shiloh. The government of Gath pulled strings to get Jaqui and Dianna classified as diplomats so Silas couldn't touch them. It was the first time Jaqui had been in Shiloh since her flight a year ago. The place looked mostly the same, except with much tighter security, a much higher police presence and more CCTV cameras and fewer people happily loitering in the street. Some of the luxury shops had gone out of business. Their driver parked the official diplomatic car a block away from their destination,it was as close as they could get. The houses on the street nearby were protected by a high iron fence running the length of the street. The re was a park behind the iron bars, a large, exquisitely manicured lawn bordered by high hedges and formal flower beds. Swans and ducks wandered around by a pond. Well dressed children played within eye sight of tired young women in dowdy but expensive clothing. The young women read, or knitted or talked on their phones and jiggled high end baby carriages and strollers. 

A tiny, dark haired, pale boy of about two toddled awkwardly to his nanny. He wore a little brace on his left leg, which impeded his progress. His nanny encouraged him, her voice carrying on the wind. 

“Come on, Adon, that's it. Oh, good boy!”

Dianna realized Jaqui wasn't moving. She stared at the child, her face twisted into an expression of loss, and yearning. Dianna touched her arm gently. 

“We have to go.”

“Right,” Jaqui said. She took a deep, shaky breath. “Right.” She didn't want him, she'd never wanted him, he'd been a punishment and her life-as bad daughter, bad wife, bad girlfriend, bad sister, terrible queen- was better without him in it, because she couldn't deal with being a bad mother too.

It was technically a closed hearing. Reporters flooded the front steps of the Congregation of the Silent Prayer temple and snapped as many pictures as they could, as Jaqui and her party entered but they remained outside the doors after a truly terrifying glare from Perez, who insisted on waiting by the door to make sure no one else came in. They proceeded down to a large conference room on the lower level, where three priests would hear the case and make a decision. Jaqui, Tammuz and Dianna took seats at a long faux walnut grain table. The priests quietly reviewed her case file, they'd probably already come to a decision but wanted to hear all the evidence out loud to cement it. 

“The king approaches. All rise for the king!” The room as a whole stood, although nobody seemed as enthusiastic as Jaqui remembered their subjects being the last time she'd heard those words. Silas and Rose strode by, accompanied by Thomasina, the court reporter and a handful of bodyguards and didn't acknowledge her. 

“Mrs. Wolfson, you come before us today to petition for a religious divorce from your husband, Mr. Lucas Wolfson on the grounds that you were both imprisoned, married without your consent and forced to abuse each other for a period of several months-sorry, it says here _almost two years_?” The priest who seemed to be in charge at the moment was a young man, hardly older than her, Reverend Nathan Levine. 

“Yes, sir.” 

“And who is this young man?” 

“My name is Captain Asher Tammuz. I've been acting as her legal adviser.” 

“Well, this is certainly one of the most bizarre, convoluted and controversial cases we've ever had to deal with. Whatever the outcome, it will certainly be historical and set a precedent. Let's proceed. Mrs. Wolfson, you're claiming that you were sexually assaulted while locked in a bedroom with your husband? And that a very powerful and influential man in this city is the one who locked you in there against your will?”

“Yes,” Jaqui said into the microphone. “That's why I had to petition the tribunal. The king refuses to get involved.” 

“You were in a building full of other people, why didn't you run, or scream? Or tell someone after?” A slightly older priest named Reverend Daniels asked. 

“I was imprisoned. I was denied any ability to communicate with the outside world. My husband was told to impregnate me if he ever wanted his own freedom, he was given drugs to use on me when I refused to consent. He used them.”

“How do you know he used them?” Reverend Daniels wanted to know. 

“Because I woke up in the middle of it,” Jaqui replied. “He's really sorry about that, that- isn't what I- I'm not looking to have him charged with anything, he was a prisoner too.” 

“You weren't a virgin at the time, is that correct?” This was from Reverend Jeremiah, an older, flush faced man who seemed bored and distracted. 

Jaqui let out an angry little hiss of breath. 

“I don't see how that's relevant.” 

“There was an incident in the past, the records are sealed because both people involved were minors,” Tammuz interjected. “It isn't relevant to the proceedings.” 

“And why didn't you want to be married to this man? Didn't you originally agree to the engagement?” Jeremiah asked. 

“I was engaged to marry Kurt Ghent when he died in a car accident. My mother said- m-my mother said that I'd promised to get married and I shouldn't back out and I wanted to... My father told me I would be his heir if I married.” 

“So, you're saying that you were reluctant to marry in the first place, and your only motivation was the promise of a kingdom? Why?” Reverend Jeremiah asked. 

Jaqui bit her lip and glanced away. She clasped and unclasped her hands in her lap. _Come on, baby,_ Dianna thought at her, _you can do this, just say it_. 

“I'm not...I was twenty one and I hadn't had good experiences with men. I just wanted more independence. If I was going to get married, I wanted...someone else. Who I couldn't have. And at the time we were locked in together, I thought he was just my fiance. I didn't realize it counted as a marriage. ” 

“Would you still have refused to grant him his marital rights if you'd known he was your legal husband?” Another from Reverend Jeremiah. 

“Yes,” Jaqui said, firmly and confidently. “I _didn't want him_.” 

“I don't see that as the issue here,” said Daniels . “I'm concerned about the fact that neither person was informed that they were in a legal marriage, which does not, to me, indicate that a legal marriage took place. Reverend Ephraim Samuels had been assassinated only a few days before and wasn't yet replaced. I'd like to suggest that the official opinion of this court be that this marriage was not endorsed by God.”

“If you'll examine the copy of the marriage certificate I've included,” Jaqui said, “and compare it to the sample of our signatures, you'll see that they don't match. We never saw any paperwork, we were never asked to sign anything.” 

“You understand that this court has no authority to dissolve decisions made by the king?” Reverend Levine asked. 

“I understand,” said the woman who had almost been queen. He was going to get away with all of it, the only thing she might get out of this was her freedom. 

“However," Levine said, " it is our consensus that the marriage, while it may have been legal according to a technicality, was not legal in the eyes of God, having ignored the spirit of the law in favor of the letter. The spirit of our laws demands that we treat each other respectfully, as equal human beings and not use each other like objects and things to be traded. We have a sacred duty not to dehumanize each other with sexual abuse and denial of personal liberty. The actions of the Wolfson's captor are abhorrent to this court and abhorrent to our Creator.” 

“I won't stand for this!” Silas cried. Rose tried to put a soothing hand on his arm but he shook her off. “You undermine the king's authority!” 

“Is the king willing to admit to a part in this?” Dianna snapped. 

“The king admits nothing and will not be accused of crimes by a _treasonous little girl!_

“I have never been a traitor!” Dianna jumped to her feet, squaring off against Silas, who started to rise before Rose made him sit again. “I've taken better care of your daughter than you have in the past three years!” 

“And we all know why, don't we!” Silas snarled. “You've only encouraged her perversions and seduced her into breaking the promise she made to her family!” 

“I didn't! You treat her life like it's yours to play with. I know she's done some things that were wrong but she never deserved that from her own _father_! You were supposed to fix it, not make it worse!” 

“ SHUT UP,” Nathan Levine barked. They were all so shocked that someone would tell them to shut up, that they all immediately did. “I cannot believe you people,” he said. 

“You're out of line, _Prophet_ ,” Silas said, his voice low and dangerous. 

“I am NOT,” Levine snapped. “ I answer to a higher authority than you, my _king_ , and I will speak my piece. We're all intelligent adults here, I shouldn't have to explain that crimes were committed against the Wolfsons. Not merely sins, but _crimes_ that would be punished by secular law if they'd been committed by a factory worker or school teacher. _Crime is crime regardless of whether the criminal is a peasant or a king_. The man who victimized the Wolfsons had other options for achieving his goals, he simply chose not to take them because he desired to make a show of power instead. Unfortunately, the _secular lawgivers_ are not interested in prosecuting the aggressors in this case, the man who set these events in motion has power that makes him virtually untouchable. All this tribunal can do is grant Mr. and Mrs. Wolfson a _religious_ exemption and state unequivocally that we do not approve of the abuse that they have endured. Congratulations, sir, ma'am, The Lord Our God, King of the Universe, pronounces you _free_. If anyone should attempt to make their lives difficult over this issue, let it be known that I will handle any such issues _personally_. ” 

The small crowd burst into applause as Jaqui sat there with a stunned expression and Silas one of barely controlled rage. Dianna spontaneously grabbed her in a bear hug, Jaqui laughed as she tried to breathe. 

“ Go do the paperwork and then let's celebrate. Anything you want.”

“I wouldn't hate being Jaqui Benjamin _Shepherd_ ,” she said with a cheeky grin. “For my lioness of Judah.” 

“I'd love that,” Dianna said. “But I think it'll have to wait...Silas is going to declare war on us for this.”

“Let him,” Jaqui said. “Let him come at us with everything he has.” 

“By the way, here's your dad's wallet. I had Itai steal it from him in the men's room. I was thinking of mailing it back with a note about how I could've killed him but didn't.” 

“I love you,” Jaqui said. “But I think Daddy should buy me some new clothes first. And some sub machine guns.” She saw Luke wandering around aimlessly by the old bank of payphones and approached him. 

“Well, it's over. You can go back to your own life now.”

“What life?” Luke said. “I lost my job. Because it turns out, when you don't show up for work for three years, they fire you. I was going to resign anyway, because I was like, going to marry a princess and stuff but after that first week of not answering my phone, they dropped me. Remember how your parents took our phones away? I don't know if I should find my family or go back to Gath with you. I don't want to live in a country ruled by a man who thinks what I did to you is okay. Because I knew that when I did it and I'm supposed to be stupid. ”

“I know you were desperate and you never meant to hurt me,” Jaqui said. “You _did_ but we were running out of options. If you want to come back, and be a part of our family in a non spousal capacity, you can. If you....help me with something I need to do.” 

**Three Years Ago**

“Andrew, I'm really sorry about being rude to you earlier,” Jaqui said. “I was just very shocked.” She stood in her bedroom a couple of hours after dinner, hands folded contritely in front of her while he sat in her armchair as if he owned it. 

“No problem,” he replied pleasantly. “You'll learn better.” 

“Oh, I know, I promise,” Jaqui lied. “I know you'll show me what a _man_ you've become.” 

“Take those shoes off. I love it when you're barefoot,” Andrew said. She stepped out of them, she moved more quickly without them anyway. “Come here and get on your knees. I want to see you show some appreciation.” Jaqui approached slowly across the thick carpet of her bedroom. She made her walk sexy, inwardly cringing at the way his eyes followed the sway of her hips. She sank down gracefully in front of him while he took his cock out. She licked her lips as if she couldn't wait. 

“Go on. You know what I want.” 

She dipped her head down, eyes lowered and pressed her lips to his cock. And her right hand shot up and broke his wrist. When he howled in pain she rolled to her feet and got as far away from him as she could. She wasn't fourteen any more and had dealt with much bigger, much stronger men in the army. 

“Come near me again and I'll break the other one,” she said. “I may not have a choice about marrying you but you won't touch me again until it's official. Now, get out of my room.” 

“You're going to pay for that, you little bitch,” he said, smiling cheerfully through eyes that watered in pain. But he left, and she called Dianna to bring a gun and keep watch over the door. Jaqui had no doubt that she would pay for it _dearly_ in two months but it had been worth the risk. 

“I guess you're pulling watch tonight. I don't trust anyone else,” Jaqui said. “Who knows which people in this house are in William's pocket.” 

“Okay,” Dianna said, and settled down in Jaqui's armchair, weapon at the ready, while the almost-queen lay down to a troubled sleep. She didn't ask why Jaqui was afraid to go to sleep alone or why, in the darkest part of the night, she heard muffled sobbing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The "tribunal" concept is basically a mishmash of various types of religious court, since the show gave us no indication of how it would work if a character found themselves in the sort of situation the Wolfsons are in. And they're in this religious system that is not completely Jewish (definitely not Orthodox) but not completely Christian and their values are sometimes very modern and yet other times, extremely outdated. So I'm just making stuff up.


	13. Hallelujah, Hallelujah

**Three Years Ago**

Dianna watched Jaqui apply makeup to a bruise on her cheek. She knew better than to ask, it wasn't hard to infer anyway. The Crosses were trying to break her. 

“Don't worry about it,” Jaqui said. “I have it under control.”

 _No, you totally don't,_ Dianna thought. “But what are you going to do about Andrew? You have to marry him soon.” 

“You never know what could happen...” Her silence was pointed, as much an implied order to make Andrew meet with an accident as if she'd come right out and said it. “Failing that, I'll bring a knife to bed on my wedding night and cut off his junk.” 

Well, it was hard to blame her for the sentiment. 

__

_“Mother...”_

_“Just tell me you didn't know. Even if it's not true.”_

_Jaqui said nothing._

_“Time to greet your country,”William announced._

_“Don't do this, Jaq,” Rose pleaded. “You don't know him. He's alive. He's alive, and he'll come back, and when he does, he'll kill us all.”_

_“And what does that say about our family?” Jaqui said, standing and following William into the council chamber._

_“Where's Dianna Shepherd?”William demanded. Jaqui was not about to tell him anything, even if she knew, which she didn't. “Andrew, see if you can find anyone who knows anything about where she went.”_

**Present Day**

Michael had made an effort to seek them out because his cancer had returned. He didn't tell them until it was too late, and all they could do was watch him wither away in hospice. Jaqui sent a formal letter to her parents about it, but they never responded personally, instead they issued a press release about it that included no mention of a twin sister or a wife. Jaqui paid for a small funeral, extending an invitation to their closest old friends. Only a few showed up, most were too nervous about crossing the border. 

Dianna stayed behind after the casket was lowered into the ground, her lips moving in silent prayer. Jaqui waited with her, she didn't want to run the gauntlet of a receiving line and pointless condolences. Dianna opened her eyes with a sigh and turned around.

“I know you don't believe, but I just, I needed to say goodbye,” Dianna said. 

“I pray sometimes. God and I still aren't quite okay with each other,” Jaqui said. “But I trust you. I believe in you. I'm following _you_. And God likes _you_. You do what you need to do.” 

**Three Years Ago**

_Public opinion of a military reengagement -radio static- People of Gilboa. A few days ago our nation was the victim of a coup d'etat, your king was shot and the reigns of our country seized by corrupt and evil men. My people, you have been decieved. I address you today to say that I, Silas Benjamin, king of Gilboa, am alive Very much alive. I am still sovreign of this nation. I send a message to the traitors who would depose me. Who would subvert God's will and the freedom of my people. I am the rightful king o this nation. I and no other. I will return to Shiloh to take my place given me by God and citizen. Like an earthquake I will come._

A coronation no one attended except those with no choice. She climbed the stairs at Unity Hall alone, the cheering crowds only in her head.

_I read from the benediction of Reverend Ephraim Samuels Our cause is just. Our union is perfect. As we unify our lands, unify our purpose. Guide his eyes, mouth, hands, that they see your goals and work with purpose. Build monuments to your gifts.”_

_William's cell phone rang. He ducked aside to answer it and then stared in horror out the window._

_“Let this crown be our every hand, there to lift you up in the darkest moments”_

_“It's him,” William said._

__

**Present Day**

After Michael's funeral, they went out drinking. Despite their gloomy first impression, Gathians were damn fantastic at partying. There would be time to do the rituals tomorrow. The Jericho Club was packed with beautiful young people dressed to impress in their wildest outfits. They didn't have the glamor of a Shiloh club, and Shiloh clubs didn't have the glamor of the clubs in other parts of the world, but they'd certainly put in the effort in department store feathers and sequins, with the occasional glimpse of black market designer bags and jeans. Jaqui's new family, her only family now, danced together, desperately not wanting to be more than a foot away. Jaqui floated on the feeling of being safely surrounded, grinding up against each one of them in turn, or sometimes all of them at once. 

The song was something about “knowing what you did in the dark”. It reminded her of the parties her unit had before big battles, when they were all secretly terrified. They'd all loved this band, back then, back before...she was one of two left. They'd died screaming, all of them, while she was helpless to stop it. Her “mistake” of being set up to get twelve troops killed, four of whom had been women, had been used as an excuse to withdraw Gilboan women from inclusion in combat. 

“I”ll ask them not to play any more of that,” Dianna said. 

“I'd like to walk home, I need to be alone,” Jaqui said. Dianna smiled softly.

“Yeah, sure.” Jaqui took a cab out of the city and got out by the bridge. It was about two miles down a wooden road to their house. She took it slowly, swigging from a bottle and occasionally almost stumbling over rocks and tree branches that may or may not have actually been there. She might've cried over all the time she and Michael had wasted not getting along, usually due to her own selfish ambitions. If she'd treated him more like a brother and less like a rival, for, well, everything, if she' d only been secure enough to realize nothing mattered if she didn't have her twin. If this had happened ten years ago, it would've been like someone had ripped her arm off. She was surprised to realize it still did feel that way. 

The porch light was on, but all the other windows were dark. Since she knew they must have arrived home sooner than her, she figured they'd all gone to sleep off the booze. No soldier guarded the front door. Jaqui let herself in, and punched her code into the alarm. The house was dark except for one lit candle on the stand by the door. The note next to the candle was in Dianna's handwriting. 

_Please come upstairs_. 

**Three Years Ago**

“Prison is softer than I thought it would be,” Jaqui said. She sat on the edge of a king sized bed in a luxuriously appointed bedroom in Altar Mansion. She'd been ready to man up and face death at the hands of her father, instead he'd mocked her and told her that they had “a punishment worse than death” in mind. Thomasina said nothing but stepped aside to reveal Luke, being escorted by two armed guards. Jaqui stood and hesitantly stepped around the bed. Luke hurried to her and embraced her. 

“I don't understand,” Luke murmured. Jaqui extricated herself from his muscular, smothering grip and tried to follow Thomasina. 

“He had no part in this.”

“His part, he'll be glad to play,” said Thomasina. “Your father wants for you a living death. To brick you into a wall with someone who loves you, who you can't stand the sight of. Until you produce an heir, who Silas will take and raise right this time. “

“Thomasina...love...Please. You've known me since I could crawl,” Jaqui begged, instantly filled with panic at the thought of Luke 'playing his part'. She'd never been afraid of him, but she didn't want anything to do with his _part_ and what would come of him spurting inside her, the helplessness and the pain and the destruction of everything she'd ever planned for herself.

“You went against the family. You're not charming any more, Jaqui.”

“Don't do this”. She was at his mercy now, a man she'd treated horribly just because she could. Being trapped in here was enough of a nightmare of a future, but trapped with _him_? He was a good man, but how long would he remain that way? And who would care about a woman with no _personhood_ left, non existent by royal decree? 

“It's easy,” Thomasina said. “Just close your eyes and dream of someone who's _dead_.” She shut the door in Jaqui's face and locked it. 

**Present Day**

Jaqui climbed the stairs slowly, feeling her way in the semi dark, past the covered mirror and the closed door to the second guest bathroom. Their bedroom door was open a couple of inches. Jaqui slipped through. In the glow of candles, Dianna and the others waited, naked and sweating with bright, welcoming eyes. The boys were impressively hard, nuzzling and stroking each other and Abigail. They'd done this before, but Jaqui had always declined, despite her agreement to let Dianna have other partners, she'd still silently resented it a little. Not now. She needed them. 

Jaqui undressed with agonizing slowness, silently teasing them. Black silk dress sliding off, shoes, nylons...and then bra and underpants, teasing a hand over her own nipples as she reached up to unpin her hair and shake it down over her shoulders. Jaqui crawled onto the bed and into their arms. 

“Anything you don't want?” Dianna asked.

“Don't-I only want _you_ inside me,” Jaqui said. _Looking_ at cocks was the best she could manage for her lovers. Braced against Tammuz, her thighs parted , Jaqui turned her head to nuzzle her cheek against Itai's. Her face was flushed, her lips swollen and parted with desire. Dianna sank to her knees in front of them and bent her head between Jaqui's legs. She drew her tongue slowly back and forth , finding all of Jaqui's secret places and driving her mad with pleasure . Jaqui let out a filthy moan. 

“So wet for me...” Dianna murmured. “That's my girl.” Jaqui blindly petted Dianna's golden hair and did a whole body writhe as Dianna's mouth turned its attention to her clitoris. 

Dianna paused, rose up on her knees and leaned over Jaqui to kiss Tammuz long and slow. Itai and Abigail shifted over to hold Jaqui while Tammuz moved around behind Dianna. Dianna gasped when he pushed himself inside her, and gave Jaqui a fierce kiss, tasting of _all of them_. As he thrust into her, she worked her fingers in Jaqui , kissing, licking, biting, her neck and ear and shoulders. Abigail palmed Jaqui's breasts, rubbing her nipples. They didn't stop, on and on, Tammuz inside Dianna, Dianna inside her, until Jaqui thought she couldn't take any more, she started to come, crying out and gushing. Tammuz came in Dianna and pulled out carefully. They both moved up to encircle Jaqui in their arms, making a blanket of loving bodies for her.


	14. Tell the World I'm Coming Home

**Three months later.**

Like an earthquake, Dianna came to Shiloh. Goliath tanks operated by her Gilboan rebels and sympathetic Gathians drove down the streets. The battles were mostly on the outskirts of town where Silas's troops met them. They broke through after two days of violence and proceeded into the city, meeting only pockets of resistance after that. The people became more helpful when they saw the clearly displayed Gilboan flags and Dianna's image plastered all over the news, she shone out like a beacon and spoke to them through a megaphone, urging calmness and cooperation. 

Andrew hurriedly descended the back steps of Unity Hall. He'd offered to stay with the king, but Uncle Silas wanted him safe, and had ordered him to get to the garage and take a car to Serenity while he still could. There were side streets and back roads not patrolled by the enemy. 

“Andrew,” a male voice called his name from somewhere to his right. Andrew paused and looked around. It was That Guy. The really good looking one, the pet that belonged to the prize Andrew had been promised by his father and then denied by Silas. The Pet had a gun. 

“She sent _you_?” Andrew laughed. “Seriously?”

“I'm supposed to look you in the eye when I do it,” the other man said. 

Andrew was still laughing when Luke Wolfson shot him in the head. Luke watched him tumble a few feet down the stairs, his blood making a pool where he landed. Luke had never killed anyone before, but his ex wife was an excellent instructor and he felt this restored the balance somewhat. 

An armed soldier stood alone in the lobby of Unity Hall. Jaqui was sure others were nearby, but she hefted her gun and kept walking as if she didn't see him. 

“Don't move another step,” he barked out. 

“Oh, get out of my way, “ Jaqui snapped. 

“I'm sorry, ma'am, I'm not moving,” he said.

“Okay,” said Jaqui, and she punched him out and kept walking. She found Rose upstairs in the Ministry of Information's office, watching UNN's attempt to cover the war on tv. The average man on the street didn't seem to understand exactly what was going on, and the reporters weren't helping. Jaqui saw footage of herself in battle, shouting orders in the smoke and chaos, a fierce expression on her dirt smeared face, it was surreal. 

“Where is it, Mother?” Jaqui asked, calm and deadly. 

“I don't know what you're talking about,” Rose said. 

“Oh, I think you do,” Jaqui replied. “You're taking us to wherever you keep it. Now.”

“Where's Rose?” Silas bellowed over the sound of the small helicopter's blades. 

“She's not coming,” Dianna called out, from her position leaning against the open door to Unity Hall's roof. That was no bluff, she'd been speaking to Jaqui through an ear piece, Rose was in custody and they were returning from the National Archives. “She's not coming and you're not leaving.”

“You'll let me go,” Silas said. “You couldn't do anything less.” Dianna shrugged one shoulder. 

“No. Sorry.” In one smooth, graceful moment, Dianna calmly shot the pilot. The helicopter fell, crashing to the roof. Silas stared at her with a look that, if they still liked each other, might've been surprised approval. “Come willingly, or Itai will bring you in handcuffs.” 

“Who the hell is Itai?” Silas asked as the young soldier stepped forward. 

“My Thomasina. Let's get this over with, sir.” 

“I could have done so much for you,” Silas said as he allowed himself to be led inside. “I tried to teach you.” 

“Oh, I learned, sir,” Dianna said. “I learned. Mostly how not to do things.” 

*******************************************************************

“Baby,” Dianna said, nodding. Jaqui crossed the Unity Hall lobby, her army boots on the marble, the only sound. Rose, Silas, and Thomasina were under guard on the other side of the room. They'd been thoroughly searched for weapons, poisons, pills and communication devices, they were being guarded only by Gathians Dianna knew well and trusted and were each seated several feet away from each other. 

“Your majesty,” Jaqui replied, and held out the pillow with the crown on it. She was covered in other people's blood (or at least, Dianna hoped it was mostly other people's), in dirty fatigues and with hair that hadn't been washed in a week. Her eyes were shining. 

“You look as beautiful as the day I met you,” Dianna said.

“I was being held hostage, tied up on the floor of a tent in the desert, with half my face bandaged,” Jaqui said. “So that's pretty accurate. Let's make you queen of Gilboa.” 

For her coronation, Dianna wore a long silver sheath accented with a draping of sheer navy blue fabric cut on the bias, and ancient jewelry from the national archives. Jaqui had informed her that the earrings were hundreds of years old, found in an excavation of Carmel. Jaqui wore simple dark purple and antique silver bracelets on her arms. The ceremony was invitation only, but people crowded the steps of Unity Hall and the streets outside it, watching on big screen tvs. White bunting and thousands of roses and white lilies were strung around railings, parking meters, lamp posts, and strewn like carpet in the places the queen walked. 

Dianna knelt on the steps of the dais and bowed her head while Nathan Levine stood above her, speaking his benediction.

“Be wise now , be instructed, you judges of the earth. Serve the Lord with fear, and rejoice with trembling. May the Lord answer you when you are in distress; may the name of the God of Jacob protect you. May he send you help from the sanctuary and grant you support from Zion. May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed. May we shout for joy over your victory and lift up our banners in the name of our God.” 

He raised the crown and placed it on her head. “Arise, Queen of Gilboa.” 

Dianna stood, and turned around, smiling that smile that lit up the world. She reached for Jaqui's hand, tugging her a bit closer ( _may he give you the desire of your heart_ )as the crowd cheered. 

“I couldn't give you this to wear beforehand, because I wanted to surprise you,” Dianna said. “So we had to pin them right on the uniform.” The current general of Gilboa's forces stepped forward with a folded dress uniform in his hands. Every medal and campaign pin she had earned before her punishment, and every medal she should have earned while fighting to retake the kingdom was pinned to the uniform. And there was something new added to it. 

“By the authority of Queen Dianna the First of Gilboa, Jacqueline Benjamin has been reinstated to the rank of Major, and now, in recognition of her outstanding service in battle, by the authority of the government of Gilboa and its army, is promoted to Colonel.” He placed the folded clothing in her arms. “Congratulations, Colonel Benjamin.” Jaqui instinctively saluted, struggling not to burst into a gigantic grin. That would have been enough, but Abigail stepped forward with Adon in her arms. He wore a suit, he wore a goddamn tiny tuxedo, how was she supposed to process that? 

“This is your mommy,” she told him as she placed him in Jaqui's arms. Jaqui buried her face in her son's hair to hide her happy tears (newly minted Colonels _did not sob in public_ ) as the crowd applauded and took up the cheer “Eshet chayil! Eshet chayil!” 

And then the butterflies came, in a swarm that blanketed the porch outside. 

**********************************************************************  
Dianna stood at a window at the Vineyard, watching Jaqui playing quietly with Adon, Abigail and Abigail's little boy in the garden. Queen Rose finished her lunch at a small dining table. Silas had been shut away in the nation's most secure long term care facility. Not a prisoner, exactly, but heavily medicated to keep him from being a danger to himself or others. He ate steak and played chess and dictated his memoirs. Sometimes he had visitors, Dianna and Rose visited at least once a month, but Jaqui never came along, nor did the children and Dianna respected Jaqui's wishes on this matter. 

“My grandson is adjusting well,” Rose commented. “They do, at that age.” 

“She told me she doesn't know how to love him. She's afraid she _can't_. But I know she can learn to be a good mother,” Dianna said. “She has a lot of help now. If she wants to, she deserves the chance to try.”

 _And so do I_ , she didn't say out loud. Queen Rose glanced at her and smiled, Dianna was only just starting to show but Rose was experienced enough to know. 

“You'll finally have everything you want,” Rose said. “Life can go badly for people who get everything they ever wanted.” There was no implied threat in her voice any more, although Dianna would be forever on guard around her. 

“I'll take that under advisement,” Dianna replied. “If you think this was ever what I wanted, you never understood me at all. But now that it _is_ mine, no one is going to take it from me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Benediction is quoting from Psalm 2 and Psalm 20.  
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Royal_Psalms
> 
> (I made the mistake of reading 18 too, and now I will have that song stuck in my head. Why does it have to be so catchy? *clap* *clap*)


	15. Epilogue

Epilogue

**Seven Years In the Future**

“Thomasina escaped,” Dianna remarked casually, trailing practiced fingers over the piano keys. Plans for the renovation of Salem, their new capitol city, were spread out over the top of the piano, they had something that looked like chocolate sauce smeared all over them. Because it was. From the sex involving chocolate sauce they'd had on the piano earlier. 

“Three guesses where she's headed,” Jaqui said. She was finishing the day's paperwork for the rape and sexual abuse survivor's network she ran with Luke. They had thriving chapters in every Gilboan city and were making strides coordinating with international efforts. “We're just going to watch them to see what they do, aren't we.” 

“That's what I planned,” Dianna said. “He's twelve, he has an opportunity to not turn into someone he doesn't have to be, he can still turn back.” 

“Glad to see I succeeded in finally turning you hard and cynical,” Jaqui replied. “What'll you do if he's not smart enough to turn back?” 

“Oh, I'll crush him like the wrath of- hey, guys!” Four shrieking children tumbled into the sitting room. “Thought we talked about using our _inside_ voices.” 

“Did Nice Grandma give you soda again?” Jaqui asked. Mean Grandma was her own mother, who made them wear suits and go to the symphony and put napkins in their laps. _Nice_ Grandma had a farm and took them to county fairs. 

“Yeah!” Ammon yelled, bouncing on his toes. “And cotton candy and corn dogs and we went on the roller coaster and Adon _puked_!” 

“You alright, honey?” Jaqui gave him a one sided hug. He nodded. 

“Yeah,” he said solemnly. “I'll know better next time.” 

“And did you make sure Tamar had fun?” Dianna asked. “Remember, when you go somewhere with a girl you should always make sure she's having fun too.” It was never too early to imprint _that_ lesson. “Do I see a scrape on her chin?”

“She's a baby and she couldn't keep up,” Absalom complained. 

“She's your blood sister, I need you to watch out for her when we can't. All of your mommies and daddies and grandmas need you to promise to protect her when we're not around.” 

“I promise, Mommy.” Dianna drew her son close and lifted her daughter to sit on the piano bench. She began to play a lullaby. 

_Story books are full of fairy tales_  
Of kings and queens and the bluest skies  
My heart is torn just in knowing  
You'll someday see the truth from lies 

At four, Tamar was a chubbier, miniaturized version of Dianna(same wide blue eyes and golden curls) and a longed for daughter after a string of rambunctious boys. The nation doted on her. She would be beautiful soon, with all the benefits...and the problems. Jaqui hoped she'd be able to steer the princess around the pitfalls. Ammon stared at the back of their heads, hurt and resentful. She'd have to head _that_ off at the pass too. Dianna hadn't grown up in an unhappy family, she honestly thought everyone could just love each other all the time because _she_ loved them all. 

__  
Castles they might crumble  
Dreams may not come true  
But you are never all alone  
Because I will always  
Always love you 

Jaqui kissed her own son on the top of his head, he burrowed into her arms bashfully. 

“Ammon, we're going to get some chicken soup for Adon, you want to come?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song can be heard here  
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lklVOT6Uv2U


End file.
